Eastern Condors (1987)

Alternate Chinese Title: Dung fong tuk ying
Director: Sammo Hung
Starring: Sammo Hung, Yuen Biao, Yuen Woo-Ping, Joyce Godenzi, Haing S. Nor
Country: Hong Kong

I love good dramatic-action-war films like Saving Private Ryan and Black Hawk Down. However, there is a soft spot in my heart for entertaining and awesome war films like The Inglorious Bastards and Windtalkers. These are war films where the drama and story take a back seat to incredible action sequences and more slow motion than you thought your mind could take. I have heard that Eastern Condors is one of the most action packed and entertaining war films ever made. Well, I am happy to say that is totally correct. While the characters and drama are weak and underdeveloped, the action scenes are great and masterfully choreographed by a trio of true badasses: Sammo Hung (SPL), Yuen Biao (Dragons Forever), and Cory Yuen (The Transporter).

A photograph to be proud of.

My mouth must have dropped at least 10 times during this film. I shouted, "Ohhhh!" more times than I would like to count. The kills, slow motion explosions, and kicks in this film are just gorgeous. Eastern Condors reminded me why Hong Kong Cinema has the greatest action scenes in all of the world.

On to the plot. Eastern Condors is essentially a Chinese Dirty Dozen set in Vietnam. It's as plain and simple as that. The Americans apparently left a huge stock pile of weapons in Vietnam. Therefore, a rag tag group of Chinese prisoners are enlisted to go destroy the stockpile before any Vietnamese soldiers get their hands on them. If they succeed and live, they will be granted full pardons and $200,000. Not a bad deal.

I love the heck out of a basic plot summary like that. Why can't every action film be this basic? Too many modern American action films are so concerned with exposition and plot that they forget that action and technical mastery is what the audience has come to see as well.

"You put your gun down first!"

The lead performances are all great. Sammo Hung plays a strict and serious leader of the group. He also racks up a massive kill count. This film has a huge body count by the way. I know I'm estimating, but there must be nearly 200 onscreen kills in this movie. Yuen Biao is probably the best actor in the film. He plays a silly traveler who sells goods to villagers. He also happens to be a master martial artist and gets wrapped up in the mission on accident. Action choreographer god Yuen Woo Ping even has a small but memorable supporting role as one of the Chinese prisoners on the mission. I would love to see him in more films because he's really entertaining as well. The other lead performance worth mentioning is Joyce Godenzi as the leader of the Cambodian rebels. She kicks just as much butt as everyone else and holds her own as one of the most awesome female action characters I have ever seen. She even flips a guy over and stabs him in the butt hole! Best kill ever?

You will never look at a leave of grass the same.

As I said before, the choreography, framing, sound design, and editing of this film is flawless. All of the action scenes are incredible. I couldn't ask for more. There are several instances where one of the film's musical themes plays as a character runs in slow motion and prepares to either throw a knife or do something awesome. I immediately recognized it as the music that plays during the scene in Tarantino's Inglourious Basterds when Omar Doom runs across a room in slow motion and gun punches a Nazi soldier. By accident, I found yet another one of the many things that Tarantino lifts from other films. It also works because Inglourious Basterds is an homage to "Men on a Mission" War films (i.e. Eastern Condors).

Bridge on the River Condor

However, my biggest complaint with this film is that it thinks all of its supporting characters are incredibly interesting and memorable. Whenever anyone dies, the music swells and becomes very heavy and dramatic. Everybody starts crying or holds that character in their arms and watches them die. I'm sorry, but I know nothing about many of these characters. Why am I supposed to care when they die? I was invested in the deaths of some of the major characters and a member who turns out to be a traitor, but that was about it. I couldn't forgive this because Sammo Hung really thought each member was their own unique character and they simply weren't. They were either a cookie cutter soldier or a goofy piece of comedic relief.

But, this is still a great action film. A lot of what I have to say is just praising individual moments during the action scenes. You could have a whole hour long conversation just about the action scenes! There is so much variety and madness going on here. I can't remember the last time I saw an action film that contained these images:

- 8 people on a motorcycle ride through a field and shoot up an entire army of soldiers.
- A girl flips a guy over and stabs him right in his butt hole.
- Sammo Hung shoots leaves of grass as deadly darts.
- A man has a grenade shoved in his mouth and than explodes.
- A character has their hand sliced off and than continues to fight.
- And so much more!

Eastern Condors is purely a visual feast for the eyes. It begs repeat screenings because the action scenes are so damn impressive! I recommend gathering up a group of action junkies and putting this on. You will definitely have a good time.

Skinny Slow Motion Sammo Hung

Rating: 8/10 - I think that the weak character development prevents me from giving this a perfect score. For that alone I knocked my rating down two notches. However, the lead characters and action scenes propel this film into the top tier of entertaining war films. Highly recommended and essential viewing for anyone who considers themselves an action fan!

Best Kill / Beatdown: There are truly too many to count! If I had to pick just one though, it would be when Sammo Hung leaps out of the exploding truck on the bridge with a machete and in one fell swipe takes a Vietnamese soldiers head clean off!
Best Action Scene: I think the siege of the bridge was my favorite action scene. I know the longest action scene was the defense of the weapons base, but the bridge scene was just flat out fantastic. There was so much going on visually that I had never seen before. Sammo Hung bouncing on metal plates, Yuen Biao hanging onto the bottom of a truck, and even Yuen Woo Ping running in slow motion across a bridge. This scene was so great, it even has the balls to end on a freeze frame shot! How many movies end a scene on a freeze frame?
Best Performance: Yuen Biao is fantastic as the hilarious but bad ass traveler who joins the group halfway through the film. I love his personal style: his long bang of hair, his trench coat, and the fact that he has a giant motorcycle with freakin balloons on it!