Die-Hard-a-Thon, Part 5 - A Good Day to Die Hard: Theatrical Cut (2013)

Director: John Moore

Cast: Bruce Willis, Jai Courtney, Sebastian Koch, Yuliya Snigir, Mary Elizabeth Winstead

Country: United States

Rating: R

Run Time: 97 minutes

A Good Day to Die Hard sounds like a good idea on paper. The film would take place in Russia, return the franchise to its gritty R rated roots, and introduce John's son as a gun toting side kick. All of those things sound like good ideas to me! Even the badly photoshopped poster hints at a dark and violent entry in the series. Maybe A Good Day to Die Hard might save the franchise after the hokey and popcorn-y Live Free or Die Hard...

Nope. Not at all. A Good Day to Die Hard is a lousy piece of trash. It might be the most disappointing and confounding action film I have ever seen since I started reviewing action films for this blog. Don't let the star power or production quality fool you! This film's plot, dialog, and performances are as bad as what you would find in a crappy direct to video action film! Read on to feel my pain for a franchise that was once so great...

Like father, like son.

This movie makes Die Hard 2: Die Harder seem like an action masterpiece! And that is saying something for a film as dumb and silly as that.

The film opens with John receiving word that his son Jack (Jai Courtney) is currently in Russia. So he packs up and flies off to Moscow in order to find him. His son is currently working for the CIA and is trying to get a hold of a political prisoner named Yuri (Sebastian Koch) who has a file with evidence against corrupt politician Viktor Chagrain (Sergei Kolesnikov). John simply finds his son in the middle of a car chase and is immediately wrapped up into the action packed plot. Jack and John must now protect Yuri and get ahold of the file to take down Viktor. They must also avoid Viktor's gun men led by Alik (Radivoje Bukvic).

Don't get used to that basic plot though. There are two completely ridiculous twists in this film that make the entire plot make absolutely no sense! After having watched the entire film, I still cannot make sense of anything. Is it really that hard to come up with a basic plot for a Die Hard film?

The guy on the left looks like Dolph Lundgren in Red Scorpion.

Bruce Willis is at his absolute worst in this film. He barely attempts to be funny or react in a realistic manner to the situations surround him. I don't know what happened to John McClane but he doesn't care about people anymore. During the epic car chase at the beginning of the film, John witnesses numerous car crashes. Instead of being concerned or scared for the hurt people he just laughs it off. "Excuse me! Sorry! Out of my way," he says. He even drives his car over other people's cars at one point and does not give a second thought about if he is hurting them at all or not.

What happened to the John McClane I used to know and love? John used to be all about the people and protecting the innocent at all costs. In Die Hard, John freaks out when he lets a hostage get shot in the face. He tells himself, "Why didn't you do something John?! Why did you let them shoot him? Cause if you stopped them you'd be dead too!" John feels horrible about his decision but knows he'd be dead if he took on so many terrorists at once. In Die Hard 2, John tries to stop a plane from landing so low to the ground by waving firey sticks to alert them. Unfortunately, the plane crash lands and explodes killing everyone on the plane. John drops to the ground and cries his eyes out. All John wanted to do was to protect those poor people and he failed. In Die Hard With a Vengeance, John jumps on top of a subway train in order to find the bomb on it. When he throws the bomb out of the back of the train, it detonates and bounces the cart he is in off of the tracks. He could have died getting rid of that bomb but did it anyway in order to protect the people of New York City. 

In this film, John just drives over people's cars crushing them, punches people in the face to steal their car, and treats death like it is nothing. All John cares about in this film is getting his son back and stopping the big plot at hand. What happened to the guy who used to be so relatable and funny? John McClane has been reduced to a machine gun wielding robot. It is also worth mentioning that McClane doesn't receive a scratch on him until he jumps out of a building in the middle of the film. It's another sign that the once relatable under dog is now a nearly invincible killing machine.

Video game screen shot? Nope, it's Die Hard 5.

I don't understand why but John continually screams, "I'm on vacation!" throughout the film. Why does John keep saying this? The opening scene of the film establishes that John is looking for his son. Therefore, he goes to Moscow to look for his son. The movie establishes that John is not in Moscow for a vacation! He is there to find his son and than go home. So why does John continually scream, "I'm on vacation!" Somebody please help me because I don't understand this at all.

If any one actor brought their game to this film it would probably be Jai Courtney as Jack McClane (a.k.a. Die Hard Junior). He seems to the be the only actor who is really trying to make something out of the filth he has to work with. For the first time in the Die Hard series, John's side kick actually gets in on the killing game with him. I would have much preferred an action film where Jai Courtney fights terrorists in Russia and works for the CIA. Just leave out the whole Die Hard connection. Courtney is a promising up and coming action star who wowed me with his villainous performance in Jack Reacher and is filling some big shoes as the new John Connor in Terminator: Genesis. I think Courtney looks the part of an action star very well and I hope for the best with his career. He was a shining star in this dull dull film.

It pains me to say this but this film contains the worst villains of the entire series and maybe the worst of any action film I have ever seen. It's hard to explain but there are like four villains in this movie! The film keeps switching who is the primary villain and it makes for a nauseating experience. Just pick a villain and go with that! Don't provide twists that change up the status quo. These twists make everything that came before non-sensical and confusing. Alik is the worst villain of the bunch. He dances around in some scenes and chews on a carrot as he desperately tries to make his character memorable and fun. The other two or three villains also suck. You have to be a total idiot not to see that one of the "good guys" in the film is "surprisingly" a villain! 

Holy crap!

A Good Day to Die Hard was made for one reason: its action scenes. Director John Moore is alot like Len Wiseman in that he only knows how to create action scenes and nothing else. Even though I hate this film, the gritty action scenes are a huge step up from the PG-13 and CG heavy set pieces of Live Free or Die Hard.

There is an insane car chase at the beginning of the film that must go on for nearly 10 minutes! It also helps that there is not a lick of CG in the entire scene. All of the vehicular mayhem is done with real cars and practical stunts. I loved this car chase. There are some really impressive vehicular stunts in this scene. The most impressive of the bunch is when John rams his car into the side of Alik's armored vehicle and sends the vehicle flying off of the freeway. The armored vehicle flies diagonally through the air and crashes into a chunk of concrete on the back of an 18 wheeler! I'm sorry, but all of these stunts just blew my mind.

There are also two short but sweet shootouts after this chase scene. Jack and John even jump out of two buildings in two separate scenes and fall hundreds of feet and completely survive. John is like Rambo for goodness sakes. He places himself in ridiculous situations and miraculously survives even though he is the "normal everyday kind of guy."

I also enjoyed the throwback to the 1980's when Russians were the villains (Rambo III, Red Scorpion). The villains even pilot a massive Russian helicopter and shoot at John and Jack in two of the film's action scenes. I'm trying to find some sort of merit in this horrible film. 

John Rambo? Oh, I'm sorry it's just John McClane.

I enjoyed that the film tried to expand the series' mythology by introducing John's son and including Lucy McClane from the previous film. However, the father and son subplot does not work at all. None of their conversations or dialog feel natural at all. It makes for a very painful viewing experience. The only thing the two seem to bond over is being good at killing other people.

I have continually stated that the original three Die Hard films can be shown to any one who does not like action movies. The films contain tense situations and a very likeable Bruce Willis that non-action fans will eat up and enjoy. However, A Good Day to Die Hard has no value to it besides its action sequences. Therefore, the only people who will find something remotely salvageable are people like me, die hard action fans.

It also makes me real sad to see the Moscow setting completely put to waste. James Mangold's The Wolverine was an excellent big budget blockbuster also released in 2013. The film benefits from placing its protagonist in a completely foreign environment. In doing so, all of the film's action scenes, aesthetics, and themes pull from that specific setting. It makes for a refreshing franchise installment because we have never seen the protagonist in such a foreign environment before surrounded by so many foreign things. A Good Day to Die Hard does nothing to make John's trip to Moscow even remotely unique. Wouldn't it be more interesting to see John running around asking for help and not being able to speak to the people because he doesn't speak Russian? It just felt like John was in a city that looked different but operated like everywhere else he has been.

My final gripe about this film is that it is only 97 minutes long. Every Die Hard film is always just over 2 hours long. These films are long because they have a lot of tense scenes and lots of double and triple crosses to present over the plot. Therefore, you really feel like you went an adrenaline packed ride that took your breath away. Two hours of action, comedy, and suspense make for a fantastic experience. However, 97 minutes of just action is a forgettable experience. At the least the viewing experience flies by instead of dragging on and boring you out of your mind for more than 2 hours like another 2013 blockbuster, Man of Steel. It's also worth noting that Man of Steel and A Good Day to Die Hard depict characters who used to save innocent people for a living no longer directly saving innocent people. These classic characters are taking steps backwards as time goes on. How does that make sense?

The most interesting aspect of this film is that the guy on the right looks like Orson Welles.

A Good Day to Die Hard is a truly dreadful experience. I am a huge action fan and even I hated this film. I can't imagine the pain that top critics who write for Time magazine and the Chicago Tribune had to endure while watching this film. The funny thing is that I considered selling my copy of this film after watching it. However, I am going to keep it just so I can have the excellent action scenes in glorious Blu Ray HD. I did the same thing with another John Moore film I own, Max Payne. Huh, I think that says something about Moore's filmography.

A sixth and final Die Hard has been planned. I hope for the best because the last two entries are pretty awful. Unlike the consistently excellent Rambo series, the Die Hard series is all over the place in terms of its entertainment value. I don't know how many action franchises reach both the absolute highest of highs (Die Hard, 1988) and the lowest of lows (A Good Day to Die Hard, 2013). This fifth entry is just bad. The only, and I mean only redeemable thing in the entire film are its action scenes and Jai Courtney. Skip this movie please.

Rating: 4/10 - Dreadful filth that does not deserve to be called a Die Hard film. Good action scenes can't even save this turd.

Franchise: Die Hard 

Die Hard (dir. John McTiernan, 1988)

Die Hard 2: Die Harder (dir. Renny Harlin, 1990)

Die Hard With a Vengeance (dir. John McTiernan, 1995)

Live Free or Die Hard (dir. Len Wiseman, 2007)

A Good Day to Die Hard (dir. John Moore, 2013)