X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009)

Director: Gavin Hood

Cast: Hugh Jackman, Liev Schriber, Ryan Reynolds, Danny Huston, Scott Adkins, Will.i.am

Country: United States

Rating: PG-13

Run Time: 107 minutes

X-Men Origins: Wolverine is technically the fourth film in the X-Men film series. However, the film is both a prequel to the first three films and a standalone Wolverine adventure. Therefore, one could technically separate this more action oriented prequel (as well as James Mangold's The Wolverine) from the rest of the series even though they play off of the continuity established in the bigger X-Men films. The X-Men series has kind of been all over the place in terms of quality and time lines anyways.

It's shocking to consider that X-Men Origins is only 5 years old, but it is. I am still shocked at how awful the special effects are for a blockbuster from 2009 (the same year that birthed "classics" like Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen and G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra). It is very apparent to the movie going community that X-Men: The Last Stand and X-Men Origins are not only the two most hated and derived entries in the X-Men franchise, but also two of the most hated superhero films of all time. And while I agree that these are the two weakest entries in the franchise, I think X-Men Origins is easily the worst. However, I still find myself able to enjoy Origins more than most others. In fact, I can say that I have a bit of a soft spot for this film. Yeah yeah, sue me.

I agree with everyone that this film is a total mess. The special effects are laughably bad, the storytelling is horribly rushed, and the character work is near insulting. However, I enjoy X-Men Origins for the fact that it is more action oriented than any of the other X-Men films. The action scenes in the film resemble what one would find in an 80s or 90s blockbuster, not a contemporary superhero picture. The constant motion of the film and its ever abundant action keeps me engaged, not its content (which is really sort of a backhanded compliment). X-Men Origins: Wolverine is the ultimate turn off your brain film if there ever was one.

Brothers until the end!

X-Men Origins: Wolverine makes a mistake literally in the first frame by opening with a title card that reads: Canada, 1845. For those who do not know, Canada was not founded until July 1, 1867. So the dang movie can't even get that right! Looks like screenwriters David Benioff and Skip Woods didn't do their research. 

James (Hugh Jackman) and Victor (Liev Schriber) are mutant half-brothers who have been alive for a long time. The two both have healing powers that allow them to grow old without physically aging. James also has bone claws that come out of his knuckles while Victor has razor sharp fingernails. After fighting numerous wars together, the two join Team X, a group of mutant mercenaries who do missions for Major William Stryker (Danny Huston). James leaves the team in the 1960s after refusing to kill more innocent people for Stryker. James eventually settles down as a lumberjack in Canada with his new girlfriend Kayla and assumes the alias of Logan.

Unfortuantely, Logan finds Kayla dead at the hands of Victor in the woods one day. Stryker tells him that Victor is going around killing off old members of Team X. Therefore, Logan and Stryker meet up to weaponize Logan in order to give him the upper hand over his eventual face off against his murderous brother. When Stryker tries to betray Logan, he escapes with his new found metallic bones and sets out to kill his brother and Stryker.

The gang's all here.

Phew! It takes a lot of explaining in order to set up the basic premise of this film. Origins has to be one of the quickest moving superhero films ever made at one hour and forty seven minutes. There is rarely a slow moment or a second to breathe. This a film that constantly bombards you with plot twists and action scenes from start to finish. Even though this kind of speedy storytelling is a detriment to immersing the audience into a film's characters, Origins plays best as a turn off your brain kind of action film. This is an extremely stupid film filled with plot holes galore, god awful special effects, and lousy humor that fails to conjure a chuckle. However, Origins is constantly in motion and never boring. Therefore, all of the film's silliness and absurdities add up to a hammy but entertaining superhero film that has no business being in the same franchise as intelligent and thought provoking films like X2: X-Men United and X-Men: Days of Future Past. Just like Victor is a half brother to Logan, I view X-Men Origins: Wolverine as a half brother to the X-Men franchise. I know I am ashamed of this film, but I still find a way to embrace it for its silliness and entertainment value.

The biggest issue with Origins is that it doesn't know if it wants to be a mutant heavy X-Men film or a solo Wolverine origin story. The film's narrative is structured around explaining Logan/Wolverine's origin. We discover where he came from, how he got his metallic bones, and what happened between him and his brother long ago. However, we also have to put up with countless supporting mutant characters who are cheated out of proper screen time and unnecessary scenes that serve no purpose but to set up the previous X-Men films. Origins would have worked better if many of these supporting mutant characters were excised from the film completely or given better screen treatment. Classic X-Men characters like Gambit, The Blob, and Deadpool are nearly unrecognizable from their comic book counterparts. The film's producers and screenwriters didn't seem confident in making an X-Men Origins film without packing in as many supporting mutants as possible in order to remind the audience that this film is connected to the X-Men franchise. These numerous supporting players take the focus off of Wolverine's origin story and hurt the film that much more.

As I stated before, Origins is an action packed film. The other X-Men films are smart character driven films fueled by themes of time travel, racism, self-identity, and team work. They are intelligent films that prove that the superhero sub-genre is more than just action and special effects. It's a franchise of ingenious storytelling paired with occasional action and memorable characters. Origins on the other hand is nothing like this. The story is never engaging, interesting, or even smart. This is a film that specializes in dumb and mind numbing set pieces that please the senses. Beyond that, Origins has little to no worth to it.

"Is it too late to back out...of this film I mean?"

And I know what you are thinking, "Zach, how can you give this film a pass but hate on other dumb popcorn films like the Transformers series?" Well, I think it is because Origins doesn't offend me in anyway. Michael Bay's Transformers films excel when the special effects arrive. However, they fall apart when you get to the annoying characters, offensive racist stereotypes, excessively long action scenes, and two and a half hour run time. Origins is a short and innocent little popcorn film that does nothing more than deliver numerous action scenes. Transformers on the other hand is a gauntlet of noise and excessiveness. If Origins ran for more than two and a half hours like Transformers, than I might have thrown in the towel. However, an hour and forty seven minutes is the perfect run time for a film as dumb and stupid as Origins is.

The choreography and concepts for many of the film's action scenes are quite good. Highlights include Team X infiltrating a high rise filled with gun wielding henchmen, Wolverine fighting his brother several times, and the helicopter vs chopper chase through the woods of Canada. I enjoy these concepts because fist fights, shootouts, and helicopter chases are the kind of set pieces that dominated the blockbusters of the 80s and 90s. Therefore, I enjoy Origins for basing its action scenes around good old fashioned action. As an action-ologist, I took note of a scene early in the film where Wolverine expresses his disgust with Team X for killing innocent people for information. This scene is heavily reminiscent of the opening Vietnam scene in Above the Law where Seagal's character, Gino, questions the CIA's violent methods in enacting information. Both Gino and Wolverine state that torture is not what they signed up for. I'm know the connection is a stretch, but the time lines of the stories and the contents of the scenes line up quite well.

Unfortunately, all of the film's action scenes contain heavy amounts of god awful computer graphics. The special effects in this film are so bad, that they easily rank among the worst effects to ever be featured in a big blockbuster. I laughed out loud several times in the film when Wolverine busted out his cartoonish claws. The scene in which Wolverine inspects his claws for the first time in a bathroom is painful to watch. The over abundance of green screens during the action scenes doesn't help either. Practical effects and better stunt work would have made these action scenes far better.

Cool guys don't look at explosions, they blow things up and they walk away.

This film also defines the crappiness that is the contemporary PG-13 blockbuster. What I mean is that even though numerous people are shot, stabbed, and killed, not an ounce of blood is shown on screen. And I am dead serious! The only blood in the entire film is from a staged death! It's a damn shame because it would be awesome to see Wolverine or Wade Wilson (Ryan Reynolds) pull their swords out of people's bodies and have some blood on them for goodness sakes. James Mangold's The Wolverine thankfully corrected this error with its over abundance of blood on Wolvy's claws. Still, it's a shame that the awful digital effects and lack of blood are so painfully obvious. Less digital nonsense and more blood (even an inkling) would have made all of the film's action scenes much better.

Origins has such a huge supporting cast of character actors that it is hard to even cover them all. Liev Schriber does a great job as the film's secondary antagonist, Victor/Sabretooth. Schriber exudes so much malice and cruelty with his performance. He owns the role. The main antagonist, Stryker, is played by the amazing Danny Huston. Unfortunately, Huston isn't given any good material to work with. It's a damn shame because Huston makes for an incredible screen villain when he is given good material (i.e. 30 Days of Night, The Proposition). 

Many other actors pop up for only a few choice scenes throughout the film: Dominic Monaghan appears as a technology controlling mutant, Ryan Reynolds appears as the fast talking and sword wielding Wade, Taylor Kitsch appears as the "could have been awesome but isn't" mutant Gambit, and Will.i.am graces us with his Black Eyed Peas presence as a teleporting mutant. I hope that Will.i.am never acts again because he is truly one of the worst actors in cinema history. Origins even manages to screw up the amazing and underrated action star Scott Adkins (Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning) by covering his face with ridiculous make up and making his character, Weapon XI, teleport all over the place; thereby rendering Adkin's masterful martial arts incomprehensible.

"Do you like my Roger Rabbit animated claws?"

X-Men Origins: Wolverine was originally planned to be the first of two origin films focused around Wolverine and Magneto. However, Origins was so poorly received and maligned by critics and fans, that the solo Magneto film was scrapped and turned into the excellent X-Men: First Class. It's a good thing that First Class was made instead of the aptly titled, X-Men Origins: Magneto, because the film restored the franchise to its former glory. Therefore, Origins: Wolverine has sort of become an oddball in the series. In fact, the events of this film and the previous X-Men: Last Stand were so disliked, that Bryan Singer's latest X-Men: Days of Future Past has since retconned every event in this film through time travel, thereby making it a complete and total waste of time. 

Origins is a sloppy blockbuster with awful attempts at humor, awful digital effects, and all around awful storytelling. However, I really enjoy the film as the ultimate turn your brain off kind of flick. The story moves at such a fast pace that something exciting occurs nearly ever five minutes, thereby never making the film boring. I also enjoy the old fashioned concepts of the action scenes, something that goes a long way for someone old fashioned as myself. In conclusion, I kind of like this film regardless of what anyone else thinks. It's a guilty pleasure of mine if there ever was one. I would only recommend this film to die hard X-Men and action fans, definitely no one else. If you want an incredibly violent and bad ass solo Wolverine film, turn towards James Mangold's The Wolverine. It has everything this film doesn't have. Still, Origins is a fun and sloppy good time.

Rating: 6/10 - X-Men Origins: Wolverine is a failed attempt at giving Wolverine a solo adventure. Still, there is some fun to be had amidst its awfulness.