DTV Cinema - The Keeper (2009)

Director: Keoni Waxman

Cast: Steven Seagal, Luce Rains, Liezl Carstens, Kisha Sierra

Country: United States

Rating: R

Run Time: 94 min

DTV Cinema is a series dedicated to reviewing and discussing all things direct to video. Although one could easily take a direct to video at the same face value as a theatrically released film, they truly do differ in many ways, and represent their own sub-genre and fandom that makes them fun and unique to follow.

Steven Seagal is a fascinating creature; as well as a personal obsession of mine. After starring in a streak of several fantastic action films in the early 90s, the sensei himself quickly devolved into a lazy action star who only appeared in lousy and cheap direct to video (DTV) action films. It's shocking how a star of such quality could go from Academy Award nominated material (i.e. Under Siege) to low rent garbage that defines the bargain bin. It is people like Seagal who gave the DTV market a bad name in the first place.

Although I have not made it apparent on my blog, me and a group of friends have been slowly working our way through every single DTV Seagal film since last year for kicks and giggles. I have seen too many to count, as well as more than I would like to admit sitting all of the way through. There is no denying it, almost every one of Seagal's direct to video films are complete trash. They feature horrendous acting, inept plotting, incomprehensible action sequences, terrible sound design, and loads of accidental comedy. While I most certainly will never review every single one of these DTV films (come on guys, I have a life), I thought that I would tackle a couple in order to get my opinion out there about some of Seagal's lesser films. First up on the chopping block is, The Keeper, a surprisingly well received Seagal venture that is more or less Seagal's attempt at Man on Fire meets Taken with a little bit of his own Hard to Kill thrown in for good measure.

Rest in peace to quality Steven Seagal films.

I forgot to mention that one of the fun aspects of watching Seagal's DTV films is trying to piece together their horribly complicated plots. Therefore, instead of cheating and reading up online what the exact plot of the film is, I thought that I would take a stab at it myself.

After Roland Salinger (Steven Seagal) and his partner raid a room full of goons and money, Salinger's partner suggests keeping the money for themselves. When Salinger expresses disinterest in the matter, his partner reveals that he was kidding, only to pull a gun and shoot Salinger "dead!" It's rare that Seagal ever receives a wound within his films, let alone dies or gets shot. Therefore, The Keeper marks a rare instance in which Seagal is almost "killed" off within the opening act. When his partner discovers that Salinger survived the incident, he heads to the hospital to finish Salinger off, only to be surprised as Salinger pulls a gun from his hospital bed and guns him down first! 

What's odd is that one might assume that The Keeper, much like Hard to Kill, will focus on Seagal's revenge against his betrayers. Instead, Seagal achieves his vengeance within the first 10 minutes. How's that for a short and dissatisfying revenge? In all honesty, this opening prologue has nothing to do with the rest of the plot, as it only serves the purpose to explain why Salinger is forced to retire from the force.

Anyways, the film than sort of gets into the real plot when a young woman, Nikita (Liezl Carstens), is attacked by masked men. Even though she escapes, her father hires her a bodyguard, a "keeper" if you will, Mister Roland Salinger. Unfortunately, Salinger is not able to properly protect Nikita, as she is successfully kidnapped one day, forcing Salinger, and Seagal, to try harder than ever before to kill her captors and rescue her.

Seagal shows some thugs whose boss as he slaps a poor stuntman around.

The Keeper was Seagal's first collaboration with director Keoni Waxman, a filmmaker who has since gone on to direct Seagal in DTV efforts A Dangerous Man, Maximum Conviction, Force of Execution, A Good Man, and Absolution. As far as DTV filmmakers come, Waxman finds himself towards the bottom of the list, right under neath Roel Reine (The Marine 2), who would than be followed by Isaac Florentine (Ninja, Ninja: Shadow of a Tear), and the cream of the crop, John Hyams (Universal Soldier: Regeneration). Unlike Reine, Florentine, and Hyams, Waxman has no understanding of how to tell a dramatically compelling story or how to direct a visibly comprehensible action sequence.

While nowhere near as awful as some of the directors that Seagal has worked with before, Waxman's films feature all of the trappings of many of Seagal's laziest efforts. For example, The Keeper features light voice dubbing, a sign that either not all of Seagal's lines were properly recorded or that Seagal whispered too often. There are also a couple scenes of behind the head body doubles, another sign that Seagal would only appear on camera for his dialog and action scenes, but not for coverage. There are also a few instances of sped up footage, another sign of Seagal's slow moves in his elder days. These DTV flaws are nowhere near as bad as some of the ones found in Seagal's worst films (i.e. Out for a Kill, Attack Force), but they are still awful and prove that Waxman directs films with a dull and tasteless style that prevents them from being taken seriously. Speaking of taken...

The Keeper could have been a solid opportunity for Seagal to take advantage of Taken's success and star in a film in which an over 50 actor kicks ass in order to rescue someone near and dear to him. While The Keeper may be more simplistic than some of Seagal's Rubix-Cube-esque plots to come before, Waxman still finds a way to over complicate things. In what should be a simple plot about a bodyguard who sets out to rescue a young woman, Waxman includes an unnecessary prologue about revenge and a sub-plot about Nikita's father and an enemy of his who wants to extort money out of him. This sub-plot is especially similar to the one found in Tony Scott's Man on Fire, another film about a body guard who protects a female until she is taken from him. However, none of this works in the film's favor, as viewers will find themselves bored to death by the double and triple crosses at the film's end that make no sense in the first place. I like these kind of plots, I really do. But even Seagal can't do one justice, which is a true shame. I guess I also have to include this film as apart of the Old Guys Kick Ass movement, as it came out after 2006 amidst the Taken craze.

Yee-ha! Cowboy Seagal, everyone.

One fun element of watching The Keeper is seeing Seagal, the least Southern actor of all time, be transported to Texas, an immensely Southern location. Seagal puts on a silly Southern accent at times, and even wears a ridiculous cowboy hat. I wish that he wore it for the entirety of the film, as it would have made for a great laugh throughout. What is even more hilarious is that even though the film takes place within Texas, the film was clearly shot in New Mexico. In one scene, Seagal drives past a train labeled: Santa Fe Railroad. Come on guys! You aren't even trying! Just say that the film is set in New Mexico, nobody will care!

For a DTV film of Seagal's stature, The Keeper features some fairly decent action, although most of it is incomprehensible and routine in nature. While I never expect a contemporary Seagal fight scene to ever impress me, I can typically hope that his shootouts, which are impersonal and simple for any one of any age to shoot, will be a stand out. Surprisingly, The Keeper features some fairly solid and satisfying gun fights, for the whole few seconds that they last. Just when the film starts to surprise you and trick you into thinking that Waxman and Seagal have stepped up their game, the film will cut away from the gunplay, as if to prove that the limited budget could only allow for so much gun fire. It came as no surprise, but the fist fights within the film don't stand up very well either. Each fight, which typically overstays its welcome, is shot with horrendous close-ups and cut to ad-nauseam. Therefore, don't go into The Keeper hoping for satisfying and breath taking action, as you will most likely be asleep by the time Seagal pulls the trigger.

The final nail in The Keeper's coffin is its immensely boring and excessive dialog that makes the viewer forget they are watching an action film in the first place. I will never understand why the screenwriters and directors of DTV films feel the need to include numerous conversations about exposition and nothing else within their low budget films. Give people action, that's what they want!

Until next time folks.

Besides the occasionally solid gun fights and the few moments of the film in which the plot stays simplistic, the only other compliment that I can pay The Keeper is that it at least looks like a real movie as opposed to some of Seagal's lesser works. To be honest, The Keeper is not funny enough to be so bad it's good, while neither good enough to be recommendable. Therefore, The Keeper finds itself stuck smack dab in the middle of the bad movie scale, earning it the title of forgettable blandness, which is honestly the worst thing a film can be. If you've already exhausted Taken numerous times, seen Man on Fire before, and don't feel like watching a good Seagal film like Hard to Kill, than give The Keeper a watch. Good luck remembering anything about the film a mere day later though.

Rating: 2/10 - The Keeper is not a keeper, ladies and gentlemen.