The Expendables (2010) - Review

Director: Sylvester Stallone

Cast: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Randy Couture, etc.

Country: United States

Rating: R

Run Time: 103 min

Stallone's baby, The Expendables, is the ultimate love letter to all things action. After showcasing a surprising level of maturity in his two comeback films, Rocky Balboa and Rambo, Stallone delivered The Expendables, a film that pays tribute to the by gone days of the 80s action film and the men who starred in those films. The Expendables is one of, if not the most notable film in the 'old guys kick ass' movement. It all started with Stallone's own comeback films, followed by Clint Eastwood's Gran Torino, and eventually the return of John McClane in Live Free or Die Hard and Indiana Jones in Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

A plethora of aged action stars and memorable characters returned to the big screen in the late 2000s in order to prove that old guys could still kick ass. However, it was Stallone's The Expendables that cemented said movement and certified the aged action stars' return to the big screen for at least the next couple of years. In fact, several of the actors who appear through The Expendables had not appeared on the big screen for either many years or had never appeared in quite a film as high profile as Stallone's latest. The Expendables, flaws and all, stands as the shining idol for the action genre in all of its aged and bombastic glory. 

Barney, you have to get over the whole Expendables thing. You're just a mercenary.

The Expendables tells the story of a group of mercenaries who go on missions too dangerous for other experienced killers and army men. The leader of the team, Barney Ross (Sylvester Stallone), is a rugged killer who has seen better days. When he and his team get the invite to take out a general controlling a small island, Ross scopes out the island with fellow Expendable, Lee Christmas (Jason Statham). Ross soon finds himself in over his head when he connects with one of the citizens on the island and realizes that the general controls an army backed by a former CIA operative. Even though Ross initially backs off from the mission, he and the rest of the Expendables agree to free the island from the grips of the general when the mission becomes personal.

It's no secret that The Expendables is made for fans of the action genre, plain and simple. Stallone crafts a basic narrative that serves as an excuse to intertwine the lives of various characters played by action stars. Therefore, one should not expect anything meaty or intriguing to Stallone and friends' mercenary proceedings. This is a fan service film filled with cameos, one-liners, and excessive action sequences aimed at the action crowd. Stallone still deserves a slap on the hand though for only being able to craft a narrative this basic and razor thin. The Expendables' mercenary proceedings could have easily been duplicated within some throwaway direct to video film written by some lazy screenwriter. However, the biggest draw of The Expendables is its ensemble cast of A-list actors and has beens who tear up the screen with the kind of old fashioned mayhem that defines the American action genre.

Stallone leads a mighty impressive ensemble of action stars and professional fighters who more or less represent the best of what action cinema has to offer. Stallone himself is one of the founders of the action genre. Therefore, it makes sense for the guy to lead, write, and direct the film himself even if his ego and elder age get in the way of what could have been a better film in the hands of a more competent director. If anyone other than Stallone had made the film though, than guys like Dolph Lundgren (Universal Soldier) and Gary Daniels (Riot) would have most likely been absent from the picture altogether. The Expendables truly is a double edged sword: a film filled with fan pleasing cameos and satisfying action but grating humor and ego centric moments.

The worst comedy duo around and yet I own more than ten of their films each.

Next up on the roster is Jason Statham (The Transporter) as Lee Christmas. Statham, as well as Jet Li (Once Upon a Time in China) and Gary Daniels, are arguably the most physically able bodied and bad ass of the cast. Therefore, their action sequences tend to come off the best due to their physical abilities and youthfulness. It's interesting to note that Statham garners the second largest amount of screen time behind Stallone's Ross to the point where Statham feels like a co-lead, especially during the first hour of the film when he and Ross scout out the general's island.

The other supporting members of the core Expendables team include Yin Yang (Jet Li), Hale Caesar (Terry Crews), Tool (Mickey Rourke), Gunner Hansen (Dolph Lundgren), and Toll Road (Randy Couture). They all garner a smaller amount of screen time than either Stallone or Statham. Unfortunately, Stallone's amateurish screenwriting abilities results in several underrepresented characters. Toll Road and Hale Caesar get little to no screen time or any backstory whatsoever. Yin Yang is not only underdeveloped, but also reduced entirely to stereotypes with a name that reflects his culture and jokes centering around his height. Stallone makes up for this childish sense of humor though by giving Tool a dooming monologue that represents the film's over all message of saving one's soul. "Humorous" moments, like Stallone and friends making fun of Li's height, and Tool's dooming monologue, demonstrate how frustrating a filmmaker Stallone is. Even though the man understands how to make a great film, he can't help but lighten the mood with some silly humor aimed straight at the 'dads' in the crowd.

The Expendables also features cameos by Stallone's biggest competition from the 80s and 90s, Arnold Schwarzenegger (The Terminator) and Bruce Willis (Die Hard). While it is currently no surprise to see aged stars like these appear on screen with one another, it was a big deal at the time to see Bruce, Arnold, and Sly side by side after more than two decades of cinematic competition. The Planet Hollywood trio mostly waste their big scene on awful dialog that a child could have written. The only line that gets an honest chuckle is when Willis remarks to Stallone and Arnold, "You two aren't gonna start sucking each other's dicks now, are you?" Despite the lousy dialog and surprisingly poor framing of the scene (would it kill you for a wide shot of the three of you, Stallone?), the big three make film history and give thousands of action fans exactly what they want by appearing next to one another.

Love the real explosions, hate the digital blood.

With so many great icons of action represented amongst the heroes' side of the film, the villains' side leaves much to be desired. The lead villain of the film is more or less James Munroe (Eric Roberts), a former CIA operative who feels similar to Henry Silva's character in Seagal's Above the Law. While hardly a stranger to bad ass cinema, Roberts feels hammy and forgetful in a film already filled with iconic actors and memorable performers. Roberts simply isn't connected with the action genre well enough to earn the spot as the film's lead baddie.

In fact, his supporting right hand men, played by Steve Austin and Gary Daniels, are far more qualified to be villains given their sports background and action pedigree. Daniels' supporting role alone earns the film a point or two on the rating scale. He may have the least amount of screen time of any other actor in the film, but damn is he great. If it weren't for Daniels' inclusion, than The Expendables' villain roster would be down right embarrassing. These plentiful action and sports stars are complimented by a rather bleak tone that conveys a sense of danger and realism amidst its action fest proceedings.

The Expendables is tonally the most bleak and brooding of the franchise. Stallone's devoted performance as Ross and Rourke's monologue about saving one's soul demonstrate a maturity that is sorely lacking in the sequels. It's clear that Stallone set out to make the best film possible with The Expendables, not the biggest and busiest action film around. The Expendables 3 is made all the more depressing because one can see Stallone sell out everything that he believes in with that film. Even though the series is only three films deep, The Expendables is the only entry within the franchise to properly balance its serious tone and action scenes amongst a legitimate plot.

Stallone's ode to action cinema excels best when composer Brian Tyler's score roars onto the screen. Tyler composes some of his very best work here with a score that conveys the Expendables team's triumphant nature and melancholy sadness. One watch of Rourke's monologue or Stallone's plead to a dying Dolph Lundgren demonstrates how important and integral Tyler's score is to the success of Stallone's film. Tyler composes a beautiful and heavy hitting score that is honestly more than what Stallone's flawed love letter to action deserves.

Dolph vs. Li, a fight that nobody asked for.

The first hour of The Expendables is a particularly average affair. Stallone spends most of the film's first half either developing Ross and Christmas' characters or building up to the eventual climax on the island of Vilena. Stallone treats the audience to two action scenes during the film's initial hour in order to get them through the film's necessary set up. The film doesn't go full action until the final 40 minutes when Stallone unleashes an assortment of martial arts fights, car chases, shootouts, and of course, explosions.

The action scenes in The Expendables range from lousy and mediocre to stellar and bad ass. Highlights include a car chase through Ross' home town, a massive fight in an old series of tunnels, and an explosive finale where every Expendable gets their kill on as they go up against a literal army of trained soldiers. The awesome three way fight between Jet Li, Statham, and Daniels is the absolute best action scene in the entire film. In fact, the entire set piece that takes place within the tunnels below the general's stronghold is the film's strongest display of action. Stallone makes sure to deliver a heavy body count somewhere in the hundreds. After all, how can you make a film that pays homage to the genre where male actors massacre henchmen and bad guys left and right if it doesn't feature a 100 plus body count? Stallone does just fine by the film's plentiful shootouts, practical explosions, and heavy body count. The Expendables' downfall as an action film lies in Stallone's over reliance on digital effects for the film's bloodier moments and moving backgrounds.

Action films from the 70s, 80s, and 90s are well remembered for their practical squibs. It wasn't until the late 90s and early 2000s when digital blood made its way into action cinema. Therefore, unless your film exists within a highly stylized world like 300 or Sin City, digital blood deserves no place in your picture. The unfortunate truth is that The Expendables exists within a real world and heavily utilizes digital blood effects. Some theories about the obvious digital blood and poor green screen effects point to them being the result of a lesser budget and rushed production. However, I highly doubt that the budget had anything to do with it, as $80 million is quite the amount of money to put behind a film. Stallone mostly succeeds in paying tribute to the old days, but stumbles every now and than when awful digital blood and shaky green screens seep into the mix.

Crews lights up a guard tower with his trusty AA-12.

The Expendables is no masterpiece, or even a great film for that matter. Stallone's ode to all things action suffers from cheap humor, under developed characters, and a razor thin plot that exists purely to put stars and action on the screen. That being said, I still find Stallone's ode to all things action irresistible. If one can look past the awful 'dad' humor and cheap digital effects, The Expendables is everything that one wants from an old fashioned action film. How often does one watch an action film with this robust of an ensemble cast? The Expendables is also the only way that you will catch actors like Gary Daniels and Dolph Lundgren on the big screen or within a big studio picture. 

I consider Stallone's The Expendables to be a mostly solid action picture that bravely represents the genre that I love so much with all of my heart. Sure, it could have been made better. And yes, Stallone looks like hell in the film. But these guys started it all. And here they are 30 years later, still kicking. I'd be damned if I didn't stand by them and celebrate the action genre with them. The Expendables should be hailed as an important film in action history when all of the titans stood side by side and gave the genre their all one last time.

Rating: 7/10 - A solid action film that marches forward through its flaws thanks to its impressive cast and over all purpose: to keep the old fashioned action film alive and kicking.

Franchise:

The Expendables (Sylvester Stallone, 2010)

The Expendables 2 (Simon West, 2012)

The Expendables 3 (Patrick Hughes, 2014)

The Expendables 3 (2014) - Theatrical Review

Director: Patrick Hughes

Cast: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Wesley Snipes, Dolph Lundgren, Mel Gibson, Harrison Ford

Country: United States

Rating: PG-13

Run Time: 126 minutes

Stallone and friends are back for the third time in the longest, dullest, and worst of The Expendables movies. Besides being a horribly put together film with a boring plot, The Expendables 3 suffers the most from it dreaded PG-13 rating. The Robocop remake that came out this year also suffered from a PG-13 rating even though the original Robocop was rated R. However, the Robocop remake at least had interesting ideas in the film and one or two good characters. Even though the action let me down, there was some story to fall back on. The Expendables 3 has none of this. There is no good action, acting, story, jokes, special effects, or anything for that matter. As a huge action fan, I was severely disappointed by this film and found it to be an insult to all of the fans of these actors and the films that they have made for so many years.

The boys are back for a PG-13 adventure.

The Expendables 3 follows the tradition of the first two films by opening up with an action scene unrelated to the plot of the film. This time, the Expendables have tracked down one of their oldest members, Doctor Death (Wesley Snipes), held prisoner in a moving train. After rescuing him in a horribly rendered CGI helicopter, the Expendables take Death on a new mission with them to stop a weapons dealer. However, the weapons dealer turns out to be the once deceased Conrad Stonebanks (Mel Gibson), a former member of the Expendables turned bad. After one of the Expendables gets badly wounded on the mission, Barney (Stallone) tells the rest of the team that he doesn't want to see any more of them get hurt. Therefore, he drops the old Expendables team out of love and decides to hire a new team of lil' Expendables (Ronda Rousey, Kellan Lutz, Glen Powell, Victor Ortiz) in order to get some youthful experience on the team. Unfortunately for Barney, the lil' Expendables get captured by Stonebanks. That means that all of the old Expendables and some old and new friends (Arnold, Jet Li, Harrison Ford, Antonio Banderas) have to go after Stonebanks and rescue the lil' Expendables.

The first Expendables film had an actual plot and a decent amount of action. Stallone was clearly trying to make a character and plot driven action film but seemed to get distracted by the fact that his film could also be a who's who of the action genre. By the time Stallone reacher The Expendables 2, director Simon West threw all plot out of the window and went straight for the action. It added more action icons (Van Damme, Scott Adkins, and Chuck Norris) and amped up the action even more than the first film. The film was far more self aware than the previous entry as well. But than The Expendables 3 comes out and it makes me question if I ever liked the first two Expendables films at all...or even the action genre!

The Expendables 3 goes back to the concept of the first film by attempting a plot with less action than Expendables 2. Unfortunately, the plot found here is so predictable, tired, and weak, that nothing holds up. Barney Ross decides that because just one of his men get shots that the whole Expendables team has to be rebooted. Look at yourself Barney! You are older than any other member on your team! Who says you get to stay around but 47 year old Jason Statham can't?! This attempt at trying to make Stallone question his old team in order to create a new team is a total joke. Any moron can predict that Stallone's new team is going to be captured and that the old team is going to come back to help. I groaned in my seat when Stallone starts to take off in his plane to take on Stonebanks on his own and the old Expendables appear in front of his plane to help.

I miss the days when Gibson was Mad Max.

Stallone and friends have sold out to the 21st century by dumbing their film down to a PG-13. Stallone claimed that he owed it to the new generation to make a PG-13 film accessible to the younger audience. Therefore, Stallone and friends went back on everything they believed in and embraced for nearly 30 years and crapped all over it by removing all blood whatsoever. I have two huge qualms with the decision to make Expendables 3 PG-13.

1) Younger kids don't care about any of these actors. No younger kid is going to know who Robert Davi, Dolph Lundgren, or Wesley Snipes is unless they had cool parents that showed them their movies when they were 5 years old. Kids nowadays like people like Vin Diesel, Dwayne Johnson, and Liam Neeson. Those are the action icons for the young crowd of PG-13 movie goers. People who grew up watching these actors since the 80's or 90's have followed them because they have almost always stuck to the R rated genre and delivered the same thing time and again. Younger kids don't care.

2) This is a group of actors who have devoted their careers to hard R action movies for nearly 30 years. The first two Expendables aren't good films but at least they knew what kind of action scenes people wanted to see. Heads explode, limbs are chopped off, bodies are shot up, and trucks explode into smithereens. But this film goes back on everything these actors have done so well for so long. The action is dumbed down, there is too little of it, and nobody is taking anything in the film seriously. The idea of a film series featuring aged action icons seemed like a good idea back in 2010. But now that we have reached 2014, I don't want to see another PG-13 Expendables film again.

Prepare yourself for some of the worst CG ever.

There are only four action scenes in this film and I cared for none of them. The biggest issue with the action in this film is that too much of the film is reliant upon digital effects. All of the blood, gun, car, and helicopter effects are clearly CG and all of it looks awful. I laughed out loud during a scene where Stallone and Kelsey Grammer drove a car past the worst looking green screen in the entire world. I groaned when Stallone blew up a CG helicopter behind him and walked away from all of its cartoony fakeness. And I cringed when Stallone hung from a helicopter over clouds of horrible CG smoke below him. I could care less for any of these action scenes. Stallone originally claimed that this film would "out Raid Gareth Evan's The Raid." What a joke. I have nothing to say to that.

The walk on cameos are laughably lazy. They didn't even try with this film. Harrison Ford proves to be the worst actor of them all surprisingly. He spouts out one liners with no effort and I couldn't help but laugh each time. He's so terrible! Jet Li also appears for maybe a total of two minutes. He operates a machine gun, says maybe four lines, and than hugs Arnold Schwarzenegger at the end of the film. And Robert Davi shows up for mere seconds! Seconds! These don't count as cameos to me at all. They are lazy walk ons that make me want to groan.

I did enjoy a few things about this film though. The first was the return of Tyler Bates' musical score. Bates composed a very memorable and spot on score for the first two Expendables films and it was nice to hear the themes and motifs return for a third time. As the film started, I immediately began humming the score before it started. I really enjoy the opening tune for each Expendables films and find them to be the only thing consistent with each flick.

Antonio Banderas (Desperado, The Mask of Zorro) and Wesley Snipes (Blade, Passenger 57) were the funnest actors to watch in the film. Snipes and Banderas haven't been in a big budget action film on the big screen in a long time (The Legend of Zorro and Blade: Trinity were their last big action films if I am correct). Therefore, it was a nice novelty to see these two action titans return to the big screen once again. Snipes and Banderas felt the most natural out of everyone in the film as well. Their dialog was still horrible but at least they brought energy and excitement to a film filled with dull actors.

Do it Arnold! Spare us the pain of an Expendables 4!

I'm done talking about this film. Everyone looks like they had a lot of fun making this film but no one seemed to care about the quality of the dang thing. The action is weak and of the PG-13 kind, the actors don't try, the plot is a joke, and the digital effects rank with Olympus Has Fallen's awful CGI. What is supposed to be a love letter to action cinema is no more than an insult to its fans. I am swearing off action movies for a while after seeing this film because I am hurt by how bad it is. Whatever you do, don't see this movie. Director Patrick Hughes should be ashamed THIS is what he churned out.

Rating: 3/10 - The impressive cast is all that is good about this piece of trash. You saw it for the icons but walked away with 10 less dollars and an empty feeling inside.

Update: I rewatched the film as of Dec.14 and the movie is actually worse than I remember. In one scene, Stallone washes ashore after drifting in a river. When one of the henchmen picks up Stallone out of the water, the space around Stallone's body is digitally altered to look wet. Stallone never laid in actual water! They digitally placed water splashes around his body where he laid! This is how lazy an actor Stallone has become. The guy won't even lay in actual water! Therefore, the rating stands.

Franchise:
The Expendables (2010, dir. Sylvester Stallone)
The Expendables 2 (2012, dir. Simon West)
The Expendables 3 (2014, dir. Patrick Hughes)