Speed 2: Cruise Control (1997) - Review

Director: Jan de Bont

Cast: Sandra Bullock, Jason Patric, Willem Dafoe, Tim Conway

Country: United States

Rating: PG-13

Run Time: 125 min

Speed 2: Cruise Control is a part of a selective club of movies whose ideas came from their director whilst in their sleep. For example, Michael Bay famously claimed that the idea for Pearl Harbor came from a dream in which he envisioned the shot of a bomb falling from a plane down towards a battleship. Speed 2's origin is much the same, as director Jan de Bont claimed he came up with the idea for the sequel in a dream in which he envisioned a cruise ship crashing into an island. Although people should follow theirs dreams, I think that de Bont took that advice too literally for the sequel, as Speed 2 is nothing more than a big waterlogged studio picture without an iota of tension or creativity to its blockbuster proceedings. 

Speed 2 is a fascinating sequel that almost actively works against the successes of its predecessor. First off, the film oddly transports its plot from the tense streets of Los Angeles to the non-threatening and tranquil Caribbean Sea. Second, the unstoppable vehicle from Speed, that of a bus, is replaced by a cruise ship, something far less exciting. And third, Speed's key ingredient and leading star, Keanu Reeves, is replaced by the worst leading man of all time, Jason Patric. It's almost as if de Bont threw all care or reason to the wind in order to craft the most frustrating sequel of all time that would actively work against everything that made the original so fantastic. In all honesty, if it weren't for Sandra Bullock's return or the threat of an unstoppable cruise ship, Speed 2 would barely classify as a sequel at all. While I partially enjoy Speed 2 for its accidental hilarity and representation of how messy a studio picture can become (neither a compliment), its mostly a dull and over long affair in which one can watch money burn on screen within a film set on water.

Hey, you're not Keanu.

Speed 2 is a desperate sequel that is actually more of a Die Hard rip-off than its Die Hard-esque predecessor. Alex Shaw (Jason Patric) is a member of the Los Angeles Police Department. When he stops a truck full of stolen goods, his girlfriend, Annie Porter (Sandra Bullock), stumbles upon the scene and realizes that her boyfriend is a daredevil cop and not the tranquil beach cop that he claimed to be. In order to make up for his lie and save his relationship, Alex takes Annie on a Caribbean cruise. Unfortunately, the two choose the wrong ship, as a former computer designer, John Geiger (Willem Dafoe), plots to take over the ship's computer controls in order to steal all of the diamonds on board. In true Die Hard fashion, Alex and Annie end up in the wrong place at the wrong time. The two, along with the ship's various guests and ship mates, work together to stop the now uncontrollable boat. It's the same plot as Speed, but on water. How terribly unexciting.

Although one might have expected a massive rewrite for a sequel to Speed once Keanu Reeves dropped out of the project, it turns out that the screenplay was barely tweaked at all. In order to explain the absence of Reeves' character, Jack Traven, only the first scene was rewritten in order to explain his replacement by Jason Patric's character, Alex Shaw. According to the first scene of the film, which is abysmal, Annie explains that she had enough of her adrenaline junkie boyfriend from the first film, and decided to call it quits when he gave her pepper spray as a present and she accidentally sprayed herself with it. Therefore, she is now with another guy, who also happens to be a cop. This reasoning for Traven's absence is flat out lazy and a complete insult to all fans of the original. Not only that, but the entire relationship sub-plot of the film, concerning Alex's hesitance to ask Annie to marry him, is made all the weaker because the viewer has no reason to care for a character they have just met, as opposed to Jack Traven, who we all knew and loved from the first film and would have rooted for. No doubt about it, Speed 2 is dead in the water from moment one, and that's purely due to its lead characters' interactions with one another.

I agree with the domineering opinion that Keanu Reeves is not a great actor, but at least his intensity and dedication to his craft makes him likable. However, I think everyone can agree that Jason Patric is simply horrendous and a wet blanket in comparison. It's not that I think Patric himself is a lousy actor, as he does fine work in Joel Schumacher's The Lost Boys, it's just that he is simply miscast for a big budget action film of this nature; the poor direction by de Bont and the horrid script probably didn't help matters either. Anyways, Patric plays ostensibly the exact same character as Jack Traven from the first film. Both Alex and Jack are hard working and dedicated cops who risk their lives in order to protect others when they easily could leave well alone. They also both happen to fall in love with Bullock's Annie Porter. However, if one takes into account that only the first scene of the sequel was rewritten due to Reeve's departure, than one quickly realizes that Jack Traven's name was simply replaced by Alex Shaw, who is none other than the exact same character. Therefore, Patric is not only engaging in an uphill struggle as he tries to earn the viewer's admiration over Reeves', but he's also playing the exact same character, something that Reeves did far better in Speed.

"I'll get you, Spider-Man!"

Not only does Patric come off dull and uninterested throughout the film, but he clearly has no chemistry with co-star Sandra Bullock. It's clear that neither actor wanted to work with one another, as all of their romance and dialog scenes come off especially wooden. In fact, Patric's character shows more interest in a young deaf girl on the cruise ship, something that was probably supposed to be charming and cute, but is instead creepy and distracting. After all, isn't this story supposed to be about Alex and Annie's struggle to commit to one another? Why is so much time given to Alex's friendship and interactions with this young teenager who he clearly should not be flirting with in the first place? It is elements like these that make Speed 2: Cruise Control such a baffling, but bizarrely watchable, sequel.

The rest of the supporting cast doesn't fare well either. Speed 2 is packed with minor characters who fail to make an impression and feel like desperate retreads of the memorable supporting characters from Speed. Temuera Morrison (The Marine 2) plays the acting captain of the ship who more or less acts as the film's replacement for Joe Morton's character from the first film. By the way, Morton does reprise his role as Lieutenant McMahon in a cameo at the beginning of the film, but he quickly vanishes afterwards and plays no part in the film's central plot. Although Morrison is a fine and dedicated actor, it's clear that his character was meant to fill the void left by Morton. Glenn Plummer also returns as the unnamed Jaguar owner from the first film, but this time he's on a boat with his girlfriend when Alex takes over his boat in order to rescue Annie. Man, that guy can't catch a break. Bo Svenson (Walking Tall Part 2, Inglorious Bastards) also pops up in a very small role as the ship's initial captain who falls overboard. There are also numerous supporting guests on the ship meant to emulate the passengers of the bus, but none of them leave a mark quite like Ortiz from the first film.

However, nobody holds a candle to Willem Dafoe (Spider-Man, John Wick) as the film's main villain, Geiger. Let me tell you, Dafoe is flat out hilarious to watch, as the actor fully commits and goes as over the top as possible. While Hopper's villain from the first film was also ridiculous, Hopper has always found a way to make his insane characters (i.e. Waterworld, Blue Velvet, The Super Mario Bros. Movie) subdued in a sense that makes them watchable and almost clever. Dafoe, on the other hand, borders on accidental hilarity. Almost every one of his lines is plain awful, but at least they make for a good laugh in a film that is otherwise boring to watch.

This is why we are all here folks.

Another major issue with the sequel is its sense of humor, which borders on groan worthy at almost every turn. Whereas Speed had small snippets of natural humor that felt welcomed after a tense or exciting sequence, Speed 2 is top to bottom a comedy, with loads of humorous characters, humorous situations, and humorous gags abounding from beginning to end. Heck, the movie opens and closes on the exact same gag concerning Annie's terrible driving, which doesn't make much sense by the way because she drove the bus from the first movie quite well. Even famed comedian Tim Conway appears in a cameo as the terrified driving instructor. De Bont makes the grave error of trading out natural comedy for over written jokes that aren't funny in the first place.

However, I think what truly makes Speed 2 a lousy sequel is its lack of humane characters. One of the pleasures of watching Speed was enjoying the little victories peppered throughout the adventure. Whenever the passengers cheered or hugged one another after surviving a life or death situation, the viewer themselves felt over joyed and wants to either smile or join in on the celebration. Unfortunately, Speed 2 has none of that. Whenever any one accomplishes a task, no one reacts in a believable or natural way. They simply speed on to the next plot point as if nothing happened. Not only are all of the supporting characters forgettable, but none of them act like human beings either. When neither the lead or the supporting characters act human, how else is a human being to connect with an action picture? Let alone one ripping off its predecessor for box office dollars? I rest my case.

Therefore, with no characters to cling too and no story to engage the viewer, Speed 2 only has its action to offer. While I wouldn't say that the action sequences are terrible, they pale in comparison to all of Speed's non-stop thrills. It's apparent that a lot of money was spent on this film, a whopping $110 million worth! Speed 2 is the definition of a messy studio picture, one in which loads of money was spent in order to produce loads of action, but with weak storytelling. Released in the same year as Titanic, both films have similar romantic/action plots about endangered cruise ships and the crews that inhabit them. How ironic that Titanic would win the Oscar for Best Picture and Speed 2 would win the Razzie for Worst Sequel in the exact same year?

Speed 2 tries to ape on Speed's action every step of the way, but it simply can't stack up. For example, a sequence where people get stuck on a falling boat is an exact repeat of the tense elevator scene that opens Speed. Later on in the film, a scene where Annie describes a booby trapped bomb to Alex is a direct repeat of the scene in Speed in which Jack describes a bomb to Harry in order for them to defuse it. And most obvious, the entire plot is a retread of Speed, albeit set upon water and far less exciting. Although de Bont does a fair job extracting as much action as possible out of a damaged runaway boat, he can't seem to drum up much tension to engage the viewer that same way Speed did. In all honesty, the only reason I would recommend Speed 2 to any one is simply to witness the epic finale based on de Bont's dream in which the ship crashes into an island that the studio spent a quarter of the budget on building just for the film. It may be ridiculous and filled with loads of weak gags and also accidental ones, but it's secretively awesome at the same time. Whether or not you brave the waters to watch Speed 2, make sure that you witness its finale.

Never have I wanted to see a couple divorce so badly.

While I would declare Speed a right of passage for all cinematic thrill seekers, I would recommend Speed 2 as the ultimate guilty pleasure for all fans of "so bad, it's good" cinema. The plot makes little to no sense, several actors ham it up beyond belief, shots of bad 90s CGI hamper the picture, and its lead couple has absolutely zero chemistry. Although some of the action sequences are entertaining, none of them ever qualify as exciting or thrilling. All in all, Speed 2 is one of the worst sequels of all time, but not exactly one of the worst films ever released. In comparison to Speed, it's a huge let down and one of the biggest failures of all time. But on its own, it's not horrendously bad. Just bad. If Speed was the film that made de Bont's career, than Speed 2: Cruise Control is the film that ended it.

Rating: 4/10 - Although dull, boring, and devoid of any personality, Speed 2 makes for a great "so bad, it's good" film with some decent action in parts and an impressive but ridiculous finale for the ages.

Franchise:
Speed (Jan de Bont, 1994)
Speed 2: Cruise Control (Jan de Bont, 1997)