Speed 2: Cruise Control (1997) - Review

Director: Jan de Bont

Cast: Sandra Bullock, Jason Patric, Willem Dafoe, Tim Conway

Country: United States

Rating: PG-13

Run Time: 125 min

Speed 2: Cruise Control is a part of a selective club of movies whose ideas came from their director whilst in their sleep. For example, Michael Bay famously claimed that the idea for Pearl Harbor came from a dream in which he envisioned the shot of a bomb falling from a plane down towards a battleship. Speed 2's origin is much the same, as director Jan de Bont claimed he came up with the idea for the sequel in a dream in which he envisioned a cruise ship crashing into an island. Although people should follow theirs dreams, I think that de Bont took that advice too literally for the sequel, as Speed 2 is nothing more than a big waterlogged studio picture without an iota of tension or creativity to its blockbuster proceedings. 

Speed 2 is a fascinating sequel that almost actively works against the successes of its predecessor. First off, the film oddly transports its plot from the tense streets of Los Angeles to the non-threatening and tranquil Caribbean Sea. Second, the unstoppable vehicle from Speed, that of a bus, is replaced by a cruise ship, something far less exciting. And third, Speed's key ingredient and leading star, Keanu Reeves, is replaced by the worst leading man of all time, Jason Patric. It's almost as if de Bont threw all care or reason to the wind in order to craft the most frustrating sequel of all time that would actively work against everything that made the original so fantastic. In all honesty, if it weren't for Sandra Bullock's return or the threat of an unstoppable cruise ship, Speed 2 would barely classify as a sequel at all. While I partially enjoy Speed 2 for its accidental hilarity and representation of how messy a studio picture can become (neither a compliment), its mostly a dull and over long affair in which one can watch money burn on screen within a film set on water.

Hey, you're not Keanu.

Speed 2 is a desperate sequel that is actually more of a Die Hard rip-off than its Die Hard-esque predecessor. Alex Shaw (Jason Patric) is a member of the Los Angeles Police Department. When he stops a truck full of stolen goods, his girlfriend, Annie Porter (Sandra Bullock), stumbles upon the scene and realizes that her boyfriend is a daredevil cop and not the tranquil beach cop that he claimed to be. In order to make up for his lie and save his relationship, Alex takes Annie on a Caribbean cruise. Unfortunately, the two choose the wrong ship, as a former computer designer, John Geiger (Willem Dafoe), plots to take over the ship's computer controls in order to steal all of the diamonds on board. In true Die Hard fashion, Alex and Annie end up in the wrong place at the wrong time. The two, along with the ship's various guests and ship mates, work together to stop the now uncontrollable boat. It's the same plot as Speed, but on water. How terribly unexciting.

Although one might have expected a massive rewrite for a sequel to Speed once Keanu Reeves dropped out of the project, it turns out that the screenplay was barely tweaked at all. In order to explain the absence of Reeves' character, Jack Traven, only the first scene was rewritten in order to explain his replacement by Jason Patric's character, Alex Shaw. According to the first scene of the film, which is abysmal, Annie explains that she had enough of her adrenaline junkie boyfriend from the first film, and decided to call it quits when he gave her pepper spray as a present and she accidentally sprayed herself with it. Therefore, she is now with another guy, who also happens to be a cop. This reasoning for Traven's absence is flat out lazy and a complete insult to all fans of the original. Not only that, but the entire relationship sub-plot of the film, concerning Alex's hesitance to ask Annie to marry him, is made all the weaker because the viewer has no reason to care for a character they have just met, as opposed to Jack Traven, who we all knew and loved from the first film and would have rooted for. No doubt about it, Speed 2 is dead in the water from moment one, and that's purely due to its lead characters' interactions with one another.

I agree with the domineering opinion that Keanu Reeves is not a great actor, but at least his intensity and dedication to his craft makes him likable. However, I think everyone can agree that Jason Patric is simply horrendous and a wet blanket in comparison. It's not that I think Patric himself is a lousy actor, as he does fine work in Joel Schumacher's The Lost Boys, it's just that he is simply miscast for a big budget action film of this nature; the poor direction by de Bont and the horrid script probably didn't help matters either. Anyways, Patric plays ostensibly the exact same character as Jack Traven from the first film. Both Alex and Jack are hard working and dedicated cops who risk their lives in order to protect others when they easily could leave well alone. They also both happen to fall in love with Bullock's Annie Porter. However, if one takes into account that only the first scene of the sequel was rewritten due to Reeve's departure, than one quickly realizes that Jack Traven's name was simply replaced by Alex Shaw, who is none other than the exact same character. Therefore, Patric is not only engaging in an uphill struggle as he tries to earn the viewer's admiration over Reeves', but he's also playing the exact same character, something that Reeves did far better in Speed.

"I'll get you, Spider-Man!"

Not only does Patric come off dull and uninterested throughout the film, but he clearly has no chemistry with co-star Sandra Bullock. It's clear that neither actor wanted to work with one another, as all of their romance and dialog scenes come off especially wooden. In fact, Patric's character shows more interest in a young deaf girl on the cruise ship, something that was probably supposed to be charming and cute, but is instead creepy and distracting. After all, isn't this story supposed to be about Alex and Annie's struggle to commit to one another? Why is so much time given to Alex's friendship and interactions with this young teenager who he clearly should not be flirting with in the first place? It is elements like these that make Speed 2: Cruise Control such a baffling, but bizarrely watchable, sequel.

The rest of the supporting cast doesn't fare well either. Speed 2 is packed with minor characters who fail to make an impression and feel like desperate retreads of the memorable supporting characters from Speed. Temuera Morrison (The Marine 2) plays the acting captain of the ship who more or less acts as the film's replacement for Joe Morton's character from the first film. By the way, Morton does reprise his role as Lieutenant McMahon in a cameo at the beginning of the film, but he quickly vanishes afterwards and plays no part in the film's central plot. Although Morrison is a fine and dedicated actor, it's clear that his character was meant to fill the void left by Morton. Glenn Plummer also returns as the unnamed Jaguar owner from the first film, but this time he's on a boat with his girlfriend when Alex takes over his boat in order to rescue Annie. Man, that guy can't catch a break. Bo Svenson (Walking Tall Part 2, Inglorious Bastards) also pops up in a very small role as the ship's initial captain who falls overboard. There are also numerous supporting guests on the ship meant to emulate the passengers of the bus, but none of them leave a mark quite like Ortiz from the first film.

However, nobody holds a candle to Willem Dafoe (Spider-Man, John Wick) as the film's main villain, Geiger. Let me tell you, Dafoe is flat out hilarious to watch, as the actor fully commits and goes as over the top as possible. While Hopper's villain from the first film was also ridiculous, Hopper has always found a way to make his insane characters (i.e. Waterworld, Blue Velvet, The Super Mario Bros. Movie) subdued in a sense that makes them watchable and almost clever. Dafoe, on the other hand, borders on accidental hilarity. Almost every one of his lines is plain awful, but at least they make for a good laugh in a film that is otherwise boring to watch.

This is why we are all here folks.

Another major issue with the sequel is its sense of humor, which borders on groan worthy at almost every turn. Whereas Speed had small snippets of natural humor that felt welcomed after a tense or exciting sequence, Speed 2 is top to bottom a comedy, with loads of humorous characters, humorous situations, and humorous gags abounding from beginning to end. Heck, the movie opens and closes on the exact same gag concerning Annie's terrible driving, which doesn't make much sense by the way because she drove the bus from the first movie quite well. Even famed comedian Tim Conway appears in a cameo as the terrified driving instructor. De Bont makes the grave error of trading out natural comedy for over written jokes that aren't funny in the first place.

However, I think what truly makes Speed 2 a lousy sequel is its lack of humane characters. One of the pleasures of watching Speed was enjoying the little victories peppered throughout the adventure. Whenever the passengers cheered or hugged one another after surviving a life or death situation, the viewer themselves felt over joyed and wants to either smile or join in on the celebration. Unfortunately, Speed 2 has none of that. Whenever any one accomplishes a task, no one reacts in a believable or natural way. They simply speed on to the next plot point as if nothing happened. Not only are all of the supporting characters forgettable, but none of them act like human beings either. When neither the lead or the supporting characters act human, how else is a human being to connect with an action picture? Let alone one ripping off its predecessor for box office dollars? I rest my case.

Therefore, with no characters to cling too and no story to engage the viewer, Speed 2 only has its action to offer. While I wouldn't say that the action sequences are terrible, they pale in comparison to all of Speed's non-stop thrills. It's apparent that a lot of money was spent on this film, a whopping $110 million worth! Speed 2 is the definition of a messy studio picture, one in which loads of money was spent in order to produce loads of action, but with weak storytelling. Released in the same year as Titanic, both films have similar romantic/action plots about endangered cruise ships and the crews that inhabit them. How ironic that Titanic would win the Oscar for Best Picture and Speed 2 would win the Razzie for Worst Sequel in the exact same year?

Speed 2 tries to ape on Speed's action every step of the way, but it simply can't stack up. For example, a sequence where people get stuck on a falling boat is an exact repeat of the tense elevator scene that opens Speed. Later on in the film, a scene where Annie describes a booby trapped bomb to Alex is a direct repeat of the scene in Speed in which Jack describes a bomb to Harry in order for them to defuse it. And most obvious, the entire plot is a retread of Speed, albeit set upon water and far less exciting. Although de Bont does a fair job extracting as much action as possible out of a damaged runaway boat, he can't seem to drum up much tension to engage the viewer that same way Speed did. In all honesty, the only reason I would recommend Speed 2 to any one is simply to witness the epic finale based on de Bont's dream in which the ship crashes into an island that the studio spent a quarter of the budget on building just for the film. It may be ridiculous and filled with loads of weak gags and also accidental ones, but it's secretively awesome at the same time. Whether or not you brave the waters to watch Speed 2, make sure that you witness its finale.

Never have I wanted to see a couple divorce so badly.

While I would declare Speed a right of passage for all cinematic thrill seekers, I would recommend Speed 2 as the ultimate guilty pleasure for all fans of "so bad, it's good" cinema. The plot makes little to no sense, several actors ham it up beyond belief, shots of bad 90s CGI hamper the picture, and its lead couple has absolutely zero chemistry. Although some of the action sequences are entertaining, none of them ever qualify as exciting or thrilling. All in all, Speed 2 is one of the worst sequels of all time, but not exactly one of the worst films ever released. In comparison to Speed, it's a huge let down and one of the biggest failures of all time. But on its own, it's not horrendously bad. Just bad. If Speed was the film that made de Bont's career, than Speed 2: Cruise Control is the film that ended it.

Rating: 4/10 - Although dull, boring, and devoid of any personality, Speed 2 makes for a great "so bad, it's good" film with some decent action in parts and an impressive but ridiculous finale for the ages.

Franchise:
Speed (Jan de Bont, 1994)
Speed 2: Cruise Control (Jan de Bont, 1997)

Speed (1994) - Review

Director: Jan de Bont

Cast: Keanu Reeves, Dennis Hopper, Sandra Bullock, Joe Morton

Country: United States

Rating: R

Run Time: 115 min

Most Die Hard rip-offs are enjoyable in how they inhabit the shell of the Die Hard plot whilst offering up new settings and interesting action sequences. Under Siege offers up Steven Seagal's Aikido styled action on a battleship, Sudden Death places Jean Claude Van Damme and his charisma into a hockey arena, Air Force One makes Harrison Ford the President of the United States while upon a plane, and Olympus Has Fallen reverses the situation by making Gerard Butler a Secret Serviceman while inside of the White House. Although all of these movies are rip-offs of one of the all time great action films, they are still fun to watch for how shallow and entertaining they are. The key differences that set apart the rip-offs from Die Hard itself is their lack of interesting characters, failure to focus on story over plot, and an all around lack of tension or suspense. You don't watch Under Siege or Sudden Death to see if Seagal or Van Damme are going to stop the terrorists, you watch them simply to see how they take out the terrorists. Therefore, both the filmmakers and the viewers engage in a guilty relationship in which both know they are neither going to recreate, duplicate, or experience the successes of John McTiernan's masterpiece.

That being said, I think that Speed might by the only Die Hard rip-off that transcends its sub-genre and influences to the point where it nearly matches Die Hard for all of its action sensibilities, high tension, engaging romance, and memorable characters. Although I would not go as far as to say that Speed is as good or better than Die Hard, as Keanu Reeve's Jack Traven is no John McClane, just about every element of Speed matches Die Hard on a pure visceral and entertainment level. Speed not only certified Keanu Reeves' place in the halls of action cinema, but it also introduced director Jan de Bont to American audiences and certified Sandra Bullock as a movie star in her own right. With over $300 million worldwide and two Academy Awards under its belt, Speed is the perfect success story in every way possible. And it's a rip-off, sort of.

Not the best way to start off a shift.

Although I am not a fan of plot, as character should always drive story, Speed has one of the all time great movie plots. Jack Traven (Keanu Reeves), an L.A.P.D. Officer, picks a bone with psychopathic ex-cop, Howard Payne (Dennis Hopper), when he stops him from blowing up an elevator full of people and prevents him from receiving his ransom money. Although Traven believes the ordeal to be over, his partner, Harry Temple (Jeff Daniels), believes that Payne will strike back again. Payne decides to engage in a game with Traven the next day when he calls him and informs him that a bus on the freeway is in danger of blowing up. The game: once the bus goes over 50 miles per hour, the bomb is armed. If the bus goes under 50 miles per hour, the bomb will blow. And if anyone tries to get off of the bus, it will blow. Once Traven makes his way onto the moving bus full of people, he and Annie Porter (Sandra Bullock), an adorable citizen turned bus driver, do their best to keep everyone calm and communicate with the police in order to keep the bus moving at all times and to get Payne his ransom money. It's non-stop action for two hours. You literally could not ask for more as an action fan.

At the time of its release, Speed heralded the arrival of the hottest new voice in action cinema. De Bont, who had been a cinematographer for decades, had strong experience in the film business before tackling Speed. He had previously photographed such action films as Die Hard, Lethal Weapon 3, Black Rain, The Hunt for Red October, and Total Recall. With such quality films like those under his belt, it only makes sense that De Bont knocked Speed out of the park with excellent direction that even the likes of his fellow compadres John McTiernan and Paul Veerhoven would tip their hats too. De Bont showcases incredible directorial abilities here, crafting both inherent tension, exciting action, and engaging romance all within the same picture. It's hard to believe that this is the same director whose career would end as soon as it began, but de Bont's direction for Speed is still exemplary and outstanding, especially for a debut filmmaker.

After the success of Speed, De Bont directed Twister, another hugely successful action/disaster film that certified his action dominance. Unfortunately, De Bont's directorial career ended just as quickly as it begun, as he immediately ruined his career with 1997's Speed 2: Cruise Control, one of the worst reviewed films in cinematic history. Failure after failure followed, as De Bont went on to direct similarly cheesy films such as The Haunting and Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life. 

De Bont has to yet to direct another film since 2003, which might as well confirm his departure from blockbuster cinema once and for all. While it's a shame that de Bont's career ended early, I find his career very interesting. If it weren't for Speed 2, de Bont easily could have gone on to become a major A-list director. One could even compare de Bont's minor success to other Dutch filmmaker Paul Veerhoven, whose most successful films, RoboCop, Total Recall, and Starship Troopers, are still considered to be some of the greatest of the action genre, while the rest of his career is lukewarm and forgettable. It's no coincidence that both of these Dutch filmmakers collaborated on Basic Instinct and Total Recall, as each had a unique vision at the time that seemed to flourish in the Hollywood of the early 1990s. And while we're on the subject of foreign filmmakers turned Hollywood directors, how can de Bont be put into director's jail after all of these years, but Finnish director Renny Harlin is still allowed to make whatever action film he wants? Have you guys seen The Covenant or The Legend of Hercules? I rest my case.

Reeves brings the chops to one of his greatest action films.

According to screenwriter Graham Yost, Speed's plot was meant to be an amalgamation of Silver Streak and Runaway Train, but with the high tension of a Die Hard picture. There's no denying it, few movie plots are as exciting and thrilling as one about a runaway vehicle that cannot be stopped, lest it explode. While Speed may be his calling card, Yost would eventually go on to write other big concept blockbusters involving terrorists, bombs, and Die Hard centric plots like John Woo's underrated Broken Arrow and the waterlogged Hard Rain. However, his Speed screenplay is made all the better because of the witty repertoire courtesy of cult favorite Joss Whedon (Firefly, The Avengers). Whedon was apparently responsible for 95% of the dialog according to Yost, as Yost felt that Whedon knew how to write dialog better than him. Therefore, Speed's excellent script can be chocked up to both Whedon, who knew how to write characters, and Yost, who knew how to place said characters into an exciting situation.

All of Whedon's witty dialog and Yost's tense situations play off of the page as well as they do because of the film's stellar cast. Reeves plays Jack Traven, a John McClane type police officer who puts his life on the line for the innocent people of Los Angeles. Although Reeves had previously shown his action chops in Kathryn Bigelow's Point Break, he shows great stride here as a far more intense and confident action hero that showcases his best acting abilities. Much like McClane, Traven takes a lot of pain and physical suffering throughout the picture, thereby making him a much more relatable and cheer worthy protagonist. It's a real treat to watch a likable hero constantly overcome hurdles, as it makes the viewing experience all the more tense and excitable. Reeves may not be one of the greatest actors on the planet, but his stalwart dedication and professionalism within his performances has proven him time and time again as one of the screen's greatest action heroes.

The other pair of lead performances from Hopper as the film's psychotic mad man and Bullock as the funny and adorable bus driver are also stellar. Hopper's Payne engages in a great revenge rivalry with Traven that makes his villain all the more fun to hate. It's easily Hopper's best villain performance this side of the 90s. Bullock gives a star making performance here, exploding off the screen with a great repertoire with Reeves. Even the smaller supporting performances shine, especially from Jeff Daniels and Joe Morton (T2, Executive Decision) as Traven's fellow officers. 

"You actually paid to see the Super Mario Bros Movie?"

And of course, who can forget all of the passengers on the buss, who become memorable players in their own right. Yost and de Bont place a great emphasis on the interactions between these smaller supporting characters and the police in order to drum up a great sense of community throughout the picture. You'll find yourself cheering along with the passengers for every small victory they achieve, whether it be in the form of them making a tight turn or jumping an impossible gap. If you ever need your faith restored in humanity through an action film, pop on Speed, as well as Die Hard With a Vengeance for good measure.

Speed has the characters, the script, and the plot to hook any cinema goer, but the whole thing comes together thanks to its exhilarating cinematic style. One of the most over used lines to describe a good action film is, "It's a non-stop thrill ride!" While that is rarely the case, as many action films take lengthy breaks in between suspenseful sequences, Speed is truly a non-stop thrill ride in every sense of the phrase. There are a whopping two scenes of breather in between each major action plot, thereby making the entire experience as action packed as they come. 

For a film with almost no shootouts, no henchmen, one villain, and a minimal body count, Speed is still more exciting and bad ass than most Die Hard rip-offs. De Bont extracts as much action and tension as possible out of the film in order to make up for the lack of superficial action entertainment that one would find in most action films. Examples include Reeves trying to get onto the bus while on a busy freeway, a criminal shooting the bus driver which causes Bullock to take over, ramming the bus into parked cars, moving everyone to a side of the bus in order to make a tight turn, and forcing the bus into a situation where it must jump a ridiculous gap that no vehicle could make. All of these tense moments are made all the greater thanks to composer Marc Mancina's excellent score, the one key ingredient that even Die Hard itself is missing. You'll have this score stuck in your head for days after watching the film, and most likely while you are driving down the road.

How about that second date?

At the beginning of this review, I stated that Speed is the best of the Die Hard rip-offs because it's only partially a rip-off. While the main bus plot may resemble Die Hard beat for beat, the initial elevator hostage situation and closing subway train face off prove that there is more than just an exploding bus plot at the center of this film. Speed has three movies worth of entertainment within it, and two of these three movie plots are merely bookends. If you take into account the romantic sub-plot as well, Speed offers up more entertainment than ten films combined, and it's merely two hours long. 

Rediscovering Speed after all of these years has been a real pleasure, as the film should be mentioned alongside the grandest of action pictures from the 90s more often. My theory for the film's minimal discussion is most likely due to its lack of old fashioned action tropes (i.e. muscled bound hero, big guns, massive body count, etc). However, Speed more than makes up for said tropes with the key elements that make up a great film nonetheless, such as an engaging plot, memorable characters, and fantastic action sequences. 

Rating: 10/10 - A stupendous summer blockbuster that proves that small scaled plots with inherent tension will always be more exciting than any grand scaled epic.

Franchise:

Speed (Jan de Bont, 1994)

Speed 2: Cruise Control (Jan de Bont, 1997)

Last Action Hero (1993) - Review

Director: John McTiernan

Cast: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Tom Noonan, Charles Dance, Austin O'Brien, Robert Prosky

Country: United States

Rating: PG-13

Run Time: 131 min

Last Action Hero is a fun meta action parody from the early 90s when Arnold Schwarzenegger was the biggest movie star on the planet and the action genre ruled. At the time of the film's release, Schwarzenegger was at the top of his game, haven just come off of the hugely successful Total Recall and Terminator 2: Judgment Day. Therefore, it probably made sense to put the King of Action into a parody of the entire genre tailor made around his image and iconography.

Unfortunately, Last Action Hero suffers from a particularly uneven script, as the film struggles to balance both its comedic and dramatic elements. Toss in the fact that the film is directed by action maestro John McTiernan (Die Hard, Predator) and co-written by Shane Black (Lethal Weapon, The Last Boy Scout), and you have an odd misfire of a film that should have been a hit based on the talent in front and behind the camera. Regardless, Last Action Hero is a fascinating piece of action history, sort of the pre-Scream for the action genre, but nowhere near as good as Scream per say.

This fortunately was not the "last" action film for our hero.

Danny Madigan (Austin O' Brien) is a young kid obsessed with action movies, especially the Jack Slater film series starring Arnold Schwarznegger. When he gets the chance to pre-screen "Jack Slater IV," his projector friend Nick (Robert Prosky) tells him that he cannot enter the movie without a ticket. He hands him a golden ticket that the magician Houdini gave him years ago and tells him that it can transport him wherever he wishes it too. However, Danny finds out that the ticket is more than just a regular ticket when it literally transports him inside of "Jack Slater IV." Using the information that he obtained from watching the first scenes of the film, Danny helps Slater solve the mystery inside of his own film and points out the cliches and such of the action genre along the way. Things are complicated when Benedict (Charles Dance), the film within the film's main villain, gets ahold of Danny's ticket and decides to transport to the real world.

While Last Action Hero may be fun and games from beginning to end, you couldn't pay me to care about any of these characters. I am sorry, but I don't understand how I am supposed to care about a group of characters whom inhabit a cliche-ridden parody all about pointing out cliches. The "Jack Slater IV" movie world is just a joke and not meant to be taken seriously. Therefore, viewers will not be able to take any of the characters that inhabit said world seriously because the world and its rules are so bonkers in the first place (i.e. a cartoon cat can show up and save the day, Robert Patrick's T-1000 shows up for no reason, etc). Another big issue with the film is that it gets strangely serious in its final half, especially once Slater realizes that he is a fictitious character played by Arnold Schwarzenegger. The problem with introducing depth and drama to a parody in its final half is that it clashes with all of the silly comedy and action packed antics that preceded it. Therefore, viewers will feel confused and betrayed by the otherwise fun film's rather abrupt turn into multi-layered character work.

The film also struggles to balance its focus between Slater and Danny, the true protagonist of the film. Even though Danny helps Slater realize that he is a movie character and that he should take command of his life and not go with the cliches, Danny himself learns nothing. As I watched the film, I thought that Danny would come to realize something wrong about his movie obsessed ways. But alas, Danny simply goes on an adventure and learns absolutely nothing. His entire journey proves to be pointless and all the more frustrating because of this. This film desperately needed an arc for the kid to experience and to base everything around. All of these character issues, as well as the film's clashing tones, are to blame on the film's rather uneven script, or at least the drama that went on behind the scenes.

Arguably the best joke in the movie.

The script was originally penned by Zak Penn and Adam Leff and meant as a parody of action films, typically the ones written by the likes of Shane Black (Lethal Weapon) and Steven E. de Souza (Die Hard). However, Black himself was eventually brought in to rewrite the film, and given credit for the script while its previous writers were bumped down to story credit. When Arnold himself demanded that his character be written as more of a three dimensional character, Last Action Hero slowly but surely signed its death certificate. Penn and Leff's original idea for the film was to tell a story where a movie obsessed 15 year old boy helps a two dimensional movie star survive the movie world. It was meant to be an action parody and nothing more. Black and Arnold on the other hand wanted to add more dramatic depth to the film, thereby drifting the film more towards the typical action films that Black and Arnold had made and less like the action parody that the script originally envisioned. Therefore, these creative decisions ultimately resulted in a film that could not realize its identity, thereby creating an odd rift between comedy and drama. 

An action parody cannot be goofy, silly, and meta, but also attempt to be dramatic, compelling, and dark. The two disparate tones do not mix, as most evident in the film's rather dark and serious final act. Another reason this blend of tones does not work is because the film stars a 12 year old boy and is rated PG-13. It's clear that these decisions were made to prime the film for a wider audience, mainly kids who were watching R rated action films that they should not have been watching in the first place. However, by putting a child front and center to all of this action and violence, Last Action Hero forgets its parody roots and drifts into the action/drama realm all too often. Therefore, you have a film that tries to be a bad ass action film directed by McTiernan, but also one that has to fulfill its comedic elements and be a whimsical fantasy film from the early 90s at the same time. All of these separate tones and goals simply do not mix into a worthwhile product, or at least one that the viewer is supposed to care about.

Despite all of its flaws, Last Action Hero is a blast of a 90s blockbuster courtesy of McTiernan's eye for great action, its fantastical plot (even though it doesn't make much sense), and meta analysis of the action genre and its biggest star. It's sort of Scream for the action genre, but without characters to care for or an intriguing mystery to hang its meta-analysis upon. It's more of a children's fantasy than anything else, especially when you consider the film's rating and youthful protagonist.

Hey, it's Al Leong! The kids will get that cameo alright.

The fun in watching Last Action Hero comes in the form of recognizing the cliches that Danny spots. He points out that characters can't say the "f" word in a PG-13 movie, that sequels always get harder for the hero, that scenes change easily because of movie set placement, and that Arnold always says, "I'll be back," in his movies, as it is sort of his calling card. It may be silly and extremely dated for a character to point out these things as they experience them, but it is part of the fun of watching the film, especially one that was made in the early 90s.

For a comedy, Last Action Hero sports two extremely vicious and menacing performances by Charles Dance (Alien 3) and Tom Noonan (Manhunter) as the film's dual villains. Dance plays a ruthless gangster who can change out one of his glass eyeballs because...why not, it looks cool. Dance exudes extreme malice during his real world scenes, especially when he murders innocent people off screen. Noonan plays an extremely creepy villain entitled the Ripper, a raincoat wearing slasher with an axe to boot. Noonan's character is dressed up in so much makeup that he might as well be a zombie or a monster. He looks absolutely ridiculous and extremely terrifying at the same time. Noonan, well known for his creepy characters, dives into the character and sends chills down the viewer's spine. It seems that McTiernan probably forgot to tell Dance and Noonan that they were in a children's comedy. Regardless, their performances result in arguably the film's most memorable characters and moments.

Although rated PG-13, Last Action Hero is still a fairly violent action film with lots of creative kills and even a little sneaky foul language courtesy of a fast talking Lieutenant. Therefore, action fans won't feel cheated by the film's tamer rating. After all, a PG-13 rated film from 1993 is far more violent than a PG-13 rated film today. 

This guy will give you nightmares.

Most of the film's kills are either bloodless, particularly jokey, or creative. For example, in order to take out a room of henchmen in one scene, Arnold stabs a dead guy with an electrical wire to make him fire his gun into other guys. Although bad ass, the kill is jokey and lighthearted. Many of the film's on screen kills, like that one, are comically exaggerated in order to lessen their violent impact. Whenever people get shot, it typically occurs off screen or causes them to fly back several feet, thereby diminishing their impact. However, a majority of the film's death are due to explosions, as explosions are never violent and always deemed suitable for PG and PG-13 affair. Notable character actor Al Leong dies during the film's first big action scene when an ice cream truck explodes and sends a cone into the back of his head, thereby killing him. Even though Leong died, his death was comically exaggerated so as to lessen its killing blow. If the viewer can handle such mild violence, than Last Action Hero is a blast of a film to watch. Just set your action sights low, turn off your brain, and have a good time.

Despite its mild violence, Last Action Hero still contains several fun and exciting action sequences. The film peaks in its first set piece when Danny transports into "Jack Slater IV" and finds himself inside of Slater's car during a shootout. This fun action scene contains some impressive vehicular stunt work, memorable one liners, and AC/DC's "Big Gun." The set piece ends on a flat out hilarious moment in which a henchmen's car flies through the air in the background of a shot and explodes upon hitting the ground. It's bad ass and funny at the same time.

The film also sports a comical but impressive set piece at a gangster's funeral in which Slater and Danny must stop a dead gangster from seeping toxic gas into the air. McTiernan pulls out all of the stops here, especially during an impressive shot in which a stuntman swings off of an elevator on the side of a building. The climactic finale at the "Jack Slater IV" premiere is unfortunately devoid of tension or excitement despite is long run time and mass amount of celebrity cameos. 

Before I leave this film to the archives of my blog's site, I thought that I would point out some rather ridiculous plot holes that stick out like a sore thumb. For starters, the entire film's conceit doesn't make much sense. Nick tells Danny that Houdini gave him a ticket long ago that can transport you anywhere you wish. When Danny watches "Jack Slater IV," he sees an animated stick of dynamite fly into the theater. When he runs away from the exploding dynamite, he wakes up inside of the movie. What gives, how does a stick of dynamite transport into the real world? When they come back to the theater at the end of the movie, the dynamite did no damage. Another ridiculous moment includes the appearance of The Seventh Seal's Death, played by Ian McKellen. After Death shows up to "help" Danny for no good reason, he simply walks away, free to roam the streets. Guys, Death is on the loose! How can you leave such a plot thread hanging!? And while we're at it, how about that home invader who breaks into Danny's home, threatens him, and than leaves him alone. What was the point of that scene? It's absolutely terrifying and horribly realistic, and yet it found a way into a children's comedy? I don't know what went on in the editing room of this film.

Slater and his trusty Deagle.

Although Last Action Hero is deemed a flop by box office and critical standards, it's still an entertaining time at the movies. The film is an immensely nostalgic picture that 90s kids will probably have a blast revisiting or watching for the first time like myself. It's just a shame that the filmmakers couldn't decided upon an identity for the film upon its inception. Fortunately, this type of meta-genre picture would be perfected by Wes Craven a few years later in 1996's Scream, a fun and tense horror film that still found a way to comment on its genre and not appear overtly showy. Regardless, Last Action Hero is a commendable yet failed effort at meta-analysis, courtesy of the early 90s.

Rating: 6/10 - An immensely flawed, although highly entertaining, 90s action blockbuster that is purely for action fans like myself, or those with a taste for flawed but whimsical children's films.

Horror Stack - From Dusk till Dawn (1996)

Director: Robert Rodriguez

Cast: George Clooney, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Keitel, Juliette Lewis, Tom Savini

Country: United States

Rating: R

Run Time: 108 min

Horror Stack is a series dedicated to reviewing films within the horror genre specifically during October in order to get myself into the mood of the Halloween season. Whether I've seen them before or not at all, those stacks of horror film DVDs and Blu-Rays are never better than during October.

From Dusk till Dawn is a fantastic action/horror hybrid that pays tribute to all things 'grindhouse' and genre cinema in general. Excluding the anthology film Four Rooms, From Dusk till Dawn was the first true collaboration between director/writer buddies Quentin Tarantino (Pulp Fiction, Kill Bill) and Robert Rodriguez (El Mariachi, Sin City). Besides their affinity for genre films, gore, and expletives, the two filmmakers could not be more different than one another. 

Tarantino directs slow paced dramatic thrillers that feature oodles of dialog and odes to his favorite films. His films tend to be critically and commercially successful too, garnering numerous Academy Awards and cementing various actors' careers for good (i.e. Tim Roth, Uma Thurman, Michael Madsen, John Travolta, Christoph Waltz). He also works with fairly big budgets and only shoots on film. Tarantino is such an accomplished filmmaker that each new film of his is typically regarded as an event amongst film buffs.

Rodriguez on the other hand is a completely different filmmaker. He works cheap and always shoots on digital. He also works with impressive casts, but rarely crafts memorable characters for said actors. Rodriguez's cinematic odes to his favorite genre films tend to come off more as pastiches than legitimate homages (excluding El Mariachi trilogy). However, the man has a recognizable name, and a small group of film buffs admire the filmmaker for his DIY filmmaking techniques. Whereas Tarantino has consistently grown as a filmmaker, Rodriguez has slumped and fallen. 

George Clooney takes aim at John Hawkes gangster style.

However, neither filmmaker's importance should be taken for granted. Each played an important part in the initial low budget indie scene of the 90s, Rodriguez with El Mariachi and Tarantino with Reservoir Dogs. Therefore, it's nice that the two filmmakers drifted towards one another with From Dusk till Dawn in 1996. The film is the perfect split between the two. Rodriguez directed and brought all of his energetic camera work and eye for mayhem to the film while Tarantino starred and wrote the script. Even though one could argue that the film is both theirs, various elements of the film are more Rodriguez than Tarantino and more Tarantino than Rodriguez. The general consensus is that the first half is a Tarantino film while the second half is more a Rodriguez film. Regardless, From Dusk till Dawn is the true 'grindhouse' collaboration between the two and a more honest love letter to exploitation cinema than either filmmakers' future Grindhouse double feature.

Newcomers should be warned that From Dusk till Dawn is infamous for its third act twist in which the film completely shifts genres. Therefore, do not read any further if you wish to experience the film for yourself. You've been warned.

From Dusk till Dawn tells the story of the Gecko Brothers, Seth (George Clooney) and Richie (Quentin Tarantino), two notorious criminals who are currently making their way to Mexico in order to lay low after robbing a bank. The two hold a family hostage and force them to drive them to Mexico. The family, composing of Jacob (Harvey Keitel), Kate (Juliette Lewis), Scott (Ernest Liu), has no say in the matter and plays along with the brothers' game. After the group successfully crosses the border, they rendezvous at the Titty Twister, a trucker bar, until Seth's contact meets up with them. Unfortunately, the group picks the worse bar in the country, as the Titty Twister turns out to be a bar run by vampires! The rag tag group fights for their lives against an onslaught of vampires, along with the help of fellow bikers Sex Machine (Tom Savini) and Frost (Fred Williamson). 

The two brothers land themselves in Vampire Hell.

From Dusk till Dawn is an excellent blend of all things action, suspense, thriller, comedy, exploitation, and grindhouse. The film features not only an incredible cast of characters (courtesy of Tarantino's excellent writing), but also a plethora of gory special effects and amazing animatronic creatures. From Dusk till Dawn is such a great film because it features a memorable cast of characters with well defined backgrounds and characteristics. It's one thing for a film to feature head decapitations, murderous vampires, and buckets of gore. However, if you combine said elements of genre cinema with excellent characters, than you have a film that viewers will root for and get behind. Tarantino did this as well with Kill Bill, Inglourious Basterds, and Django Unchained by creating genre films that homaged his favorite films of the past but also featured excellent characters that most genre films of the past never had. The cinematic rule learned here is: always have great characters, and you can get away with anything.

The Gecko Brothers are a tricky pair of leads for a film of this nature, as neither is morally upright or particularly redeemable. While Richie does nothing but creep his way through the picture until his death, Seth showcases a sense of moral righteousness even if he is a murderous thief. He seems to be against killing innocent people who harm him in no way. Look to his tough but honest regard for the middle aged hostage at the beginning of the film or Jacob's family. Seth will kill you if he has too, but ultimately doesn't want too. He puts on a tough act, but deep down is ultimately a redeemable character, just barely though.

Jacob is another interesting character who undergoes the same arc as Mel Gibson's character from Signs in that he gains his faith back in God. He starts off as a hardened widow who finds himself caught in a tricky situation when Seth and Richie threaten to murder his children. Fortunately, Jacob plays along with them and becomes an integral part in defeating the vampires. It's a God send that Rodriguez and Tarantino were not only able to create memorable characters, but were able to populate said characters with excellent actors like Clooney, Tarantino himself, and Keitel. 

When this is the cast of your movie, you really can't go wrong.

From Dusk till Dawn also features some of the best damn cameos and supporting performances this side of the 90s. Appearances by genre legends John Saxon (Enter the Dragon, A Nightmare on Elm Street), Michael Parks (Death Wish V, The Evictors), Fred Williamson (Inglorious Bastards, Vigilante), and Tom Savini (Friday the 13th, Dawn of the Dead) spice up the film's genre infused proceedings. The film also features appearances by Rodriguez's good 'ol friends Danny Trejo (Machete), Salma Hayek (Desperado), and Cheech Marin in a tri-role performance as a border patrol officer, a vampire, and Seth's contact! Along with small appearances by John Hawkes, Kelly Preston, Greg Nicotero, and band Tito & Tarantula, From Dusk till Dawn has one of the best ensemble casts of any action film to date.

Rodriguez's eye for action is as spot on as his other 90s action pictures, El Mariachi and Desperado. It's a joy to see Rodriguez play with practical gun and gore effects in his action scenes as well, as the filmmaker would go on to ditch all things practical in favor of digital this and that in Once Upon a Tim in Mexico and the Machete films. From Dusk till Dawn is truly Rodriguez at his peak, working with both an excellent cast, crafting memorable action, and directing a great script by his buddy Tarantino. Even though Rodriguez would go onto create Sin City, arguably the best film in his entire filmography, From Dusk till Dawn is consistently my favorite film of his purely for its gung-ho story and senseless regard for reality or restraint.

Unfortunately, the film is held down by only a few minor flaws. As far as mythology building goes, From Dusk till Dawn has no interest in it. While the first half of the film is tight and to the point, the vampire portion of the film is filled with plot holes and nagging questions. For example, how is this the first time that any survivors have put up a fight against these vampires so easily? Has every biker fallen at every vampires' hand before? After all, Fred Williamson picks up vampires like nobody's business and stakes them to death as if he were taking out the trash. I guess it helps when you are George Clooney or Tom Savini, as you will most likely out live Biker #1 or Biker #2. Still, it's a frustrating question and one that pops up in your head once the vampire mayhem begins.

Also, why does each vampires' death vary so greatly? Some explode, some melt, some ooze goo, and others burst into flames. It's all fun and games to Tarantino and Rodriguez, but frustrating to those hoping for a semblance of rule establishment. The two filmmakers throw all care to the wind when Clooney rips the head off of a vampire only for its leftover body to turn into a physical rat creature! There is no explanation or precedent for it either! A decapitated vampire literally turns into a rat creature. Therefore, one must throw all reason to the wind in order to properly enjoy From Dusk till Dawn. It's just a slight betrayal by the two filmmakers to establish believable and legitimate characters in a world where anything can happen monster wise. 

Academy Award winning actor George Clooney ladies and gentlemen.

Besides the script's disregard for rule establishment concerning its monsters, From Dusk til Dawn also features Rodriguez's flaws as a fast paced filmmaker. The film is littered with continuity errors concerning Clooney's revolver shooting. Sometimes the gun can fire seven to twelve shots, and sometimes it can only fire a few before needing to be reloaded. Regardless, Rodriguez and Tarantino should have chosen a different signature hand gun for their lead protagonist to blaze away with.

Tarantino and Rodriguez would go on to direct a Grindhouse double feature in 2007, consisting of Rodriguez's Planet Terror and Tarantino's Death Proof. Whereas From Dusk till Dawn feels like an honest to goodness collaboration between two different artists, the two Grindhouse films feel awfully disparate from one another. Planet Terror is overstuffed with unnecessary characters and silly pastiche while Death Proof is a slow paced dialog fest with minimal exploitation elements. Therefore, viewers should turn towards From Dusk till Dawn if they want to see the true 'grindhouse' collaboration between Tarantino and Rodriguez, not that silly filth from 2007. Highly recommended amongst genre fanatics and Tarantino heads.

Rating: 8/10 - Mild flaws are the only thing keeping From Dusk till Dawn from being one of the all time great horror films. Still, it's easily one of the best horror films to come out of the 90s.

Franchise:

From Dusk till Dawn (Robert Rodriguez, 1996)

From Dusk till Dawn 2: Texas Blood Money (Scott Spiegel, 1999)

From Dusk till Dawn 3: The Hangman's Daughter (P. J. Pesce, 2000)

Horror Stack - Army of Darkness: Theatrical Cut (1992)

Director: Sam Raimi

Cast: Bruce Campbell, Embeth Davidtz, Marcus Gilbert, Ian Abercrombie

Country: United States

Rating: R

Run Time: 80 min

Horror Stack is a series dedicated to reviewing films within the horror genre specifically during October in order to get myself into the mood of the Halloween season. Whether I've seen them before or not at all, those stacks of horror film DVDs and Blu-Rays are never better than during October.

The Evil Dead trilogy is one for the books. The first film, The Evil Dead, is a low budget scare fest filled with special effects, gore, and creative camera techniques. It's one of the most terrifying and critically acclaimed horror films of all time, as well as the film that introduced audiences to star Bruce Campbell (Bubba Ho Tep, Maniac Cop) and director Sam Raimi (Darkman, Spider-Man). The second film, Evil Dead 2, is a more comedic but equally grotesque sequel that amps up the violence and monster effects from the previous film. When Evil Dead 2 reached its conclusion, Campbell's character was flung into a portal and into the past to medieval times. It's one of the best cliffhangers of all time, and a huge rug puller if there ever was one. 

The third film, Army of Darkness, picks up exactly where the previous film left off. However, its tone is particularly different from the previous entries. The Evil Dead and Evil Dead 2 are tightly connected films that both take place within the same cabin and wooded setting and lean towards horror with their gore filled gags and scenes of bodily dismemberment. However, Army of Darkness leans more towards action with its copious amount of one liners, monsters galore, and medieval battles a plenty. Raimi took his comedic splat-stick franchise in a fantastical direction with a helping of Looney Tunes-esque comedy and lighthearted camp that separates the film from its predecessors.

Army of Darkness is easily one of my favorite films of all time. It's one of those definitive films that laid the groundwork for my love for cinema. Raimi's energetic style, paired with Bruce Campbell's fearless acting, made Army of Darkness an easy film to digest for a hungry cinema-goer as myself in high school. It's one of those rare films that actually lives up to its poster, delivering everything promised upon it and more. Therefore, please excuse any biased love I have for this film as we dive into Raimi's camp filled monster mash of gore, laughs, and romance. In the words of the chin himself, "Hail to the king, baby."

Ash engages with a deadite in the pit of death.

The third Evil Dead adventure opens up with another recap of the previous films. Ashley J. Williams (Bruce Campbell), or Ash for short, was a clerk at S-Mart, a discount store. When he and his girlfriend went out to a cabin in the woods one night, they stumbled upon a book of the dead that awakened demonic spirits. After losing his girlfriend to the demons, Ash used the book to hurl the remaining demons into the past. Unfortunately, he did not have the ability to close said portal, and ended up going through it himself. The portal sent Ash to 1300 A.D., which is exactly where Army of Darkness sets its action. When Ash awakes, he finds himself thrust into a dispute between Lord Arthur and Duke Henry, two feuding factions in medieval times. The hilarious and selfish Ash is suspected to be the Chosen One in a prophecy that foretells of a man who will fall from the sky only to rid the land of the evil Deadites. What follows is a hilarious and action packed adventure filled with romance and a classic hero's journey.

Army of Darkness heavily differs from its horrific predecessors as it aims for high adventure instead of bone chilling terror. The film is an entertaining combination of medieval fantasy, horror, and even Three Stooges comedy. If there was ever a film that wholly embodies Raimi's strengths and abilities as a filmmaker, Army of Darkness is the one. The film also shows Raimi's ability to work with a larger budget, especially during the finale of the film in which Raimi lets loose with a massive battle filled with special effects and stuntwork. It's no surprise that Raimi would go on to craft crowd pleasing blockbusters such as Sony's hugely successful Spider-Man trilogy and to a lesser extent Disney's Oz The Great and Powerful.

Raimi's third Evil Dead film is one of those immensely entertaining cult films that some how over comes even its own errors. Even though Army of Darkness is more entertaining and enjoyable than 95% of the movies that come out today, the film is still subject to several noticeable plot and editing inconsistencies. For example, Ash is thrown into the Deadite pit without his shotgun. When he climbs out though, he pulls the gun out of nowhere and fires it into Lord Arthur's sword. As to where Ash's shotgun came from, I will never know. Ash also loses his chainsaw less than halfway through the film and never addresses it ever again. Once Raimi gives Ash a new robotic hand, it's as if the chainsaw never existed. Call me crazy, but the hero shots of Ash towards the beginning of the film with a shotgun in one hand and a chainsaw as his other hand make for the film's greatest moments.

"This...is my boomstick!"

The mythology established around the Deadites is also particularly loose and frustrating at times. If Deadites have the ability to possess anyone whenever they please, than what stakes are there? Also, how does Evil Ash turn love interest Sheila evil, if only for her to turn good again after being stabbed and thrown off the castle? Army of Darkness is one of those rare cult films that overcomes its evident story and technical flaws purely through its execution and energy.

The film takes Campbell's unforgettable character of Ash Williams and blows him up to full blown action hero status for his third adventure. Ash is truly one of the all time great movie characters due to his design and conception. Bruce Campbell gives an incredible comedic and heroic performance as the man out of time and with little patience. Campbell is a great comedian because he constantly physically embarrasses himself for the sake of our comedy throughout the film. Campbell endures hair pulling, rock throwing, blood splattering, sword clanking, horse neighing, and skeleton fighting all for our amusement and still finds himself labeled as a B-movie actor. I can honestly say that Campbell's charisma and charm earns him the status as A-movie star in my opinion. He truly is a star, right down to his good looks and heroic stature. In the words of Evil Ash, "I'll spoil those good looks!"

When one takes a step back and looks at the timeline of the trilogy, it's quite hilarious how much Ash changes and ages over the course of the three days that the series takes place over. He starts off as a fearful college student in search of love during the events of The Evil Dead. When he reaches Evil Dead 2, Ash becomes more of a self aware smart alec who starts spouting one liners and wielding a chainsaw for a hand as if it were nothing. When he reaches Army of Darkness, a mere two days after the events of The Evil Dead, Ash is experienced in weapons training, chemistry, and filled with more one liners and jokes than a stand up comedian. Ash is a rare character who actually represents his creator's evolution as a filmmaker more than himself.

Campbell pulls double duty as Evil Ash as well.

However, Ash does experience a classic hero's journey over the course of the film. He starts off as a selfish and arrogant bastard who wishes nothing more than to return to his own time. In order to return to his time, Ash simply has to obtain the Necronomicon and return it to the Wise Man who can send him back in time using its spells. However, all Ash has to do is recite a set of words correctly in order to pick the book up. When it comes time to pick up the book, Ash's arrogance gets the better of him, as he completely fumbles the words and accidentally awakens an army of the dead. All he had to do was properly memorize one sentence and he couldn't even do that! It's flat out hilarious how simple Ash's mistake is, but all of the more rewarding how redeeming his transformation is as well. Therefore, Ash must become a hero and a leader to the people of the land in order to combat his mistake.

Army of Darkness is a blast of an action film because of Raimi's "in your face" camera techniques and careful control of all things unrestrained and comical. Raimi lets loose with a number of fun action sequences that range from small to large in scale. The opening pit fight that places Ash against a Deadite is both thrilling and hilarious, especially when Ash leaps into the air and connects his chainsaw to his nub of an arm. In fact, a lot of the film's action is highly comical. Ash's battle against an army of tiny Ashes is filled with enough silly gags that one might forget that they are watching a sequel that takes place within the same franchise as The Evil Dead's controversial tree rape scene.

Raimi eventually lays off the comedy for a spectacular finale in which Ash leads a castle defense against an army of skeletons, zombies, and undead creatures. The entire finale is filled with every kind of special effect imaginable for the time. Special effects master Greg Nicotero lays out all the stops with a variety of effects ranging from stop motion, to rear screen projection, to even puppetry and animatronics. It's clear that Raimi and Nicotero wanted to pay tribute to special effects guru Ray Harryhausen with their stop motion skeletons and fantastical monsters. Army of Darkness was truly the last hurrah for all things practical and old fashioned as far as special effects come. You won't find a lick of computer generated imagery within Raimi's film. It is worth noting that Army of Darkness was released in between Terminator 2: Judgment Day and Jurassic Park, two of the films that revolutionized computer graphics in live action cinema. While modern day audiences may decry the film as dated and laughable, film buffs will probably appreciate the charm and ingenuity behind it all.

"Hail to the king, baby."

Army of Darkness exists amongst several different cuts that can be obtained across several different bootlegs and DVD's. I personally prefer the theatrical cut for both its short run time of 80 minutes and for its hilarious "Hail to the King" ending. While the infamous post-apocalyptic alternate ending from the director's cut is more in line with the ending of Evil Dead 2, I personally feel that the positive and triumphant finale within the theatrical cut is more in tone with the rest of the film. I also feel that Ash deserves some happiness after all of the torment that he suffered through across all three films.*

Raimi's Evil Dead franchise is one of those defining cult phenomenons that inspired numerous filmmakers to pick up a camera and make a movie and established many film buffs' adoration for cinema in general. Its third entry, Army of Darkness, is the most mainstream and accessible of its series. The film is exceptionally lighthearted and romantic in comparison to its gore filled predecessors (besides one extremely bloody moment featuring an impossibly high geiser of blood). The sequel also foretells Raimi's abilities as a blockbuster filmmaker with its crowd pleasing moments and tale of adventure. It may be dated, but Army of Darkness is an immortal piece of action entertainment that will last until the end of time.

Rating: 8/10 - A hilarious, exciting, and romantic cult classic for the books.

*All of this will change once Starz releases their new Ash vs. The Evil Dead series, thereby reintroducing the Deadites into Ash's life. The separate cuts and bootlegs issue will also be resolved when Scream Factory puts out their ultimate edition of the film that collects all various endings and cuts into one release. Therefore, the Evil Dead franchise will endure a significant revival by the end of this October, thereby making this film, along with the rest of the series, more relevant than ever before.

Bad Boys (1995)

Director: Michael Bay

Cast: Martin Lawrence, Will Smith, Tea Leoni, Joe Pantaloni

Country: United States

Rating: R

Run Time: 119 minutes

My personal relationship with mega hit director Michael Bay has been an interesting one. He is someone that I loved in my high school years, despised in my college years, and remotely admire in my post college years. I, like many dumb teenagers, thought Bay's Transformers films were the coolest thing ever upon initial release. It wasn't until my college years when I began to hate Bay, especially once Transformers: Dark of the Moon rolled around. This was the time in my life when I used to go around saying that Bay was one of the worst filmmakers in Hollywood. Fast forward to 2015, and I still believe that Bay is an inherently flawed filmmaker. However, I now realize how incredible his artistic vision is when it comes to explosions and visuals. Few filmmakers specialize in pure cinematic escapism and garbage as much as Bay does. If Bay could just get away from over sexualizing women, over long run times, and childish humor, than his films would probably equal John Woo's American output in the 1990s and early 2000s. 

The "Bayhem" all began with Bad Boys, a small scaled buddy cop film starring Martin Lawrence and Will Smith. Bad Boys can be blamed for jump starting the Hollywood careers of both Bay and Smith, as it was essentially both their first mega hit. Bay's debut film is shockingly small scaled and personal in relation to his contemporary cinema. It's nice to see Bay handle a story on such a small scale and to work with relatively small action sequences. Unfortunately, one can spot all of Bay's flaws, as well as his strengths, right here in his debut action picture. Bad Boys is a film that both pleases and immensely pisses me off. Oh Bay, you never fail to elicit an emotional reaction out of me even after all of these years.

The boys are here for their first Bay infused adventure.

Bad Boys is a buddy cop film in every way, shape, and form. It tells the story of two narcotics division detectives, Mike Lowry (Will Smith) and Marcus Burnett (Martin Lawrence), who work for the Miami Police Department. Lowry and Burnett are essentially Tubbs and Crockett from Miami Vice, but louder, more foul mouthed, and invincible. In fact, Bad Boys itself is pretty much Miami Vice, just jacked up on steroids and written by a 12 year old at times. For their first action packed outing, Lowry and Burnett are tasked with retrieving heroin stolen from the Miami Police Department, the exact heroin that the two of them busted from the Mafia not too long ago. If the boys cannot retrieve the heroin within five days time and uncover the mole within the police department, than the narcotics division will be shut down for good. Things are further complicated when Julie (Tea Leoni), a friend of one of Mike's informants, witnesses a murder by the men who stole the heroin. It is than up to Mike and Marcus to look after Julie and to take down the villainous Fouchet (Tcheky Karyo) and his gang before the five days run up.

Bay's debut feature is based around a fairly simple plot: two detectives protect a witness connected to the capture of their famed heroin bust. Unfortunately, Bay and his screenwriters essentially turn the film into one big comedy bit where Lawrence must pretend to be Smith's character for almost the entirety of the picture. When the Miami P.D. gets a call from Julie, she demands to only speak with Mike Lowry because her now deceased friend knew him. However, the only cop nearby is Marcus. Therefore, the captain hands the phone off to Marcus and orders him to pretend to be Mike so as not to let the witness slip through their hands. What follows is a nearly picture length bit padded with jokes about mistaken identity and Marcus spewing as many lies as possible to Julie. He takes her to Mike's house and pretends to be Mike himself, only to find himself fending off her sexual advances and coming up with lies as to why he has pictures of the real Mike in his house.

This comedic bit becomes painfully old once it turns into the conceit of the picture. I don't understand why Bay and his screenwriters couldn't have just focused on the plot at hand and not force the audience through so much of Martin Lawrence's painfully unfunny comedy. This role reversal overly complicates the plot and characters' life purely for comedy. It pisses me off though because Marcus should simply explain to Julie that he is not Mike the first time that he meets her so that there is no further confusion from there. He should also tell his wife that he is never around because he is protecting a witness, it's his job for goodness sakes. All of the lies and deceit is eventually revealed anyways towards the end of the film in a meet up between Mike, Marcus, Julie, and Marcus' wife Teresa. This comedic sub-plot does nothing but drag the picture to its death and kill it from ever coming back despite the awesome action sequences.

The boys take part in an unfunny scene that made me tear my hair out.

The cop parts of Bad Boys are great; from the action, to the style, to even the villainy. Unfortunately, it's the buddy part that doesn't work for me. Smith and Lawrence have great chemistry, they really do. It's just a shame that their schtick as a buddy pairing is based entirely around screaming and yelling at one another all of the time. They also have to work with a grating script that makes their characters more offensive and annoying than hilarious and likable, a key element of a buddy cop film. I'd much rather take Riggs and Murtaugh from the Lethal Weapon series or Lee and Carter from the Rush Hour series over these two any day.

Bad Boys is also filled with several scenes that halt the plot in place for no reason other than to add more "comedy" to the film. The most unnecessary scene in the entire film, a liquor store hold up, is so ridiculous that I can't believe the producers or the editors kept it in the picture. When Mike and Marcus go into a liquor store to buy some alcohol and shampoo, the clerk spots that Mike has a gun on his waist. When Mike pulls his vest back to grab his wallet, the clerk overreacts and pulls a freaking Desert Eagle handgun from behind the counter and yells, "Freeze mother bitches!" at them. As Mike starts to tell the clerk that they are cops, Marcus makes the situation worse by yelling at Mike and saying that he is a magnet for trouble. As the tension rises, Mike and Marcus pull out their guns (pictured above), aim them at the clerk, and than ask for a pack of bubblegum and skittles. Guys, what was the point of this scene?! Tell me!

As you can tell, I am not a fan of Michael Bay's sense of humor or plotting. Therefore, what does work in Bad Boys, if anything? For starters, Bad Boys is a 90s action picture through and through. The film is packed with gun fights, car chases, and practical stunt work that reminds the viewer why the 90s were the last hurrah of old fashioned action. The final two gun fights, one in a hotel (pictured below) and another in an explosive hangar bay, hold up especially well. It's also interesting to see Bay orchestrate action sequences without a dozen or so explosions. The Bay that we know today doesn't take fruition until the final hangar bay sequence in which cars, people, and a plane are blown sky high in a truly explosive finale.

Nice John Woo shot Bay.

It's fun to watch Bay find his footing as a filmmaker with such a small scaled feature. While the man has since graduated to leveling whole cities in his Transformer films, Bay shows good action competence for a cop genre picture. Bad Boys also introduces several of Bay's stylistic tendencies that have since become staples of his filmography: the over head plane shot, the rotating camera shot around his actors, and extreme slow motion editing. Bay's signature teal and orange color palette wouldn't appear until Armageddon. Therefore, Bad Boys looks rather bland in comparison to his visually gorgeous films.

Unfortunately, Bad Boys introduces all of Bay's flaws as a filmmaker as well. Bay is notorious for over sexualizing women within his films, putting the "male" into the phrase "male gaze." Bay's camera hugs women as if they were objects and rarely treats them as actual people unless they are the romantic love interest or motherly figure in the picture. Bad Boys also introduces Bay's immature and offensive sense of humor that has persisted throughout his filmography, right up into Transformers: Age of Extinction.

However, I think that I would be willing to forgive Bay's sense of humor and over sexualization of women if the man could at least understand restraint. Bay's films are notoriously long, typically running somewhere between two and three hours. Bad Boys is a case of Bay's failure to understand restraint, as the film runs nearly two hours in length, a whopping 30 minutes too long if you ask me. Bay could have easily chopped a majority of the film's comedy bits in order to make the film a swift and entertaining experience. Unfortunately, Bay goes all out and seems to include nearly every scene that was shot in order to give audiences as much bang for their buck as possible.

Now that's what you call an explosion.

Bad Boys is a frustrating action picture that commits as many wrongs as it does rights. Bay's over the top action sequences and Marc Mancina's bombastic score are the film's strongest highlights. Bay blows the hell out of Miami, Florida with an array of car chases, fist fights, and shootouts that put the "may" in "mayhem," or should I say "Bayhem." Bad Boys is a case of style over substance if there ever was one. The film is burdened by a terribly unfunny script, juvenile humor, and a pair of protagonists who make me want to tear my hair out. If Bad Boys were not an R rated action film from the hey days of the 90s, than I probably wouldn't have given it my time or attention. However, I just had to experience the film that started Bay's career. Stay tuned for a review of the sequel in which the boys get badder and the action gets bigger.

Rating: 5/10 - Bay's debut picture is as frustrating as it is entertaining; proceed with caution.

Franchise:

Bad Boys (dir. Michael Bay, 1995)

Bad Boys II (dir. Michael Bay, 2003)