Last Action Hero (1993) - Review

Director: John McTiernan

Cast: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Tom Noonan, Charles Dance, Austin O'Brien, Robert Prosky

Country: United States

Rating: PG-13

Run Time: 131 min

Last Action Hero is a fun meta action parody from the early 90s when Arnold Schwarzenegger was the biggest movie star on the planet and the action genre ruled. At the time of the film's release, Schwarzenegger was at the top of his game, haven just come off of the hugely successful Total Recall and Terminator 2: Judgment Day. Therefore, it probably made sense to put the King of Action into a parody of the entire genre tailor made around his image and iconography.

Unfortunately, Last Action Hero suffers from a particularly uneven script, as the film struggles to balance both its comedic and dramatic elements. Toss in the fact that the film is directed by action maestro John McTiernan (Die Hard, Predator) and co-written by Shane Black (Lethal Weapon, The Last Boy Scout), and you have an odd misfire of a film that should have been a hit based on the talent in front and behind the camera. Regardless, Last Action Hero is a fascinating piece of action history, sort of the pre-Scream for the action genre, but nowhere near as good as Scream per say.

This fortunately was not the "last" action film for our hero.

Danny Madigan (Austin O' Brien) is a young kid obsessed with action movies, especially the Jack Slater film series starring Arnold Schwarznegger. When he gets the chance to pre-screen "Jack Slater IV," his projector friend Nick (Robert Prosky) tells him that he cannot enter the movie without a ticket. He hands him a golden ticket that the magician Houdini gave him years ago and tells him that it can transport him wherever he wishes it too. However, Danny finds out that the ticket is more than just a regular ticket when it literally transports him inside of "Jack Slater IV." Using the information that he obtained from watching the first scenes of the film, Danny helps Slater solve the mystery inside of his own film and points out the cliches and such of the action genre along the way. Things are complicated when Benedict (Charles Dance), the film within the film's main villain, gets ahold of Danny's ticket and decides to transport to the real world.

While Last Action Hero may be fun and games from beginning to end, you couldn't pay me to care about any of these characters. I am sorry, but I don't understand how I am supposed to care about a group of characters whom inhabit a cliche-ridden parody all about pointing out cliches. The "Jack Slater IV" movie world is just a joke and not meant to be taken seriously. Therefore, viewers will not be able to take any of the characters that inhabit said world seriously because the world and its rules are so bonkers in the first place (i.e. a cartoon cat can show up and save the day, Robert Patrick's T-1000 shows up for no reason, etc). Another big issue with the film is that it gets strangely serious in its final half, especially once Slater realizes that he is a fictitious character played by Arnold Schwarzenegger. The problem with introducing depth and drama to a parody in its final half is that it clashes with all of the silly comedy and action packed antics that preceded it. Therefore, viewers will feel confused and betrayed by the otherwise fun film's rather abrupt turn into multi-layered character work.

The film also struggles to balance its focus between Slater and Danny, the true protagonist of the film. Even though Danny helps Slater realize that he is a movie character and that he should take command of his life and not go with the cliches, Danny himself learns nothing. As I watched the film, I thought that Danny would come to realize something wrong about his movie obsessed ways. But alas, Danny simply goes on an adventure and learns absolutely nothing. His entire journey proves to be pointless and all the more frustrating because of this. This film desperately needed an arc for the kid to experience and to base everything around. All of these character issues, as well as the film's clashing tones, are to blame on the film's rather uneven script, or at least the drama that went on behind the scenes.

Arguably the best joke in the movie.

The script was originally penned by Zak Penn and Adam Leff and meant as a parody of action films, typically the ones written by the likes of Shane Black (Lethal Weapon) and Steven E. de Souza (Die Hard). However, Black himself was eventually brought in to rewrite the film, and given credit for the script while its previous writers were bumped down to story credit. When Arnold himself demanded that his character be written as more of a three dimensional character, Last Action Hero slowly but surely signed its death certificate. Penn and Leff's original idea for the film was to tell a story where a movie obsessed 15 year old boy helps a two dimensional movie star survive the movie world. It was meant to be an action parody and nothing more. Black and Arnold on the other hand wanted to add more dramatic depth to the film, thereby drifting the film more towards the typical action films that Black and Arnold had made and less like the action parody that the script originally envisioned. Therefore, these creative decisions ultimately resulted in a film that could not realize its identity, thereby creating an odd rift between comedy and drama. 

An action parody cannot be goofy, silly, and meta, but also attempt to be dramatic, compelling, and dark. The two disparate tones do not mix, as most evident in the film's rather dark and serious final act. Another reason this blend of tones does not work is because the film stars a 12 year old boy and is rated PG-13. It's clear that these decisions were made to prime the film for a wider audience, mainly kids who were watching R rated action films that they should not have been watching in the first place. However, by putting a child front and center to all of this action and violence, Last Action Hero forgets its parody roots and drifts into the action/drama realm all too often. Therefore, you have a film that tries to be a bad ass action film directed by McTiernan, but also one that has to fulfill its comedic elements and be a whimsical fantasy film from the early 90s at the same time. All of these separate tones and goals simply do not mix into a worthwhile product, or at least one that the viewer is supposed to care about.

Despite all of its flaws, Last Action Hero is a blast of a 90s blockbuster courtesy of McTiernan's eye for great action, its fantastical plot (even though it doesn't make much sense), and meta analysis of the action genre and its biggest star. It's sort of Scream for the action genre, but without characters to care for or an intriguing mystery to hang its meta-analysis upon. It's more of a children's fantasy than anything else, especially when you consider the film's rating and youthful protagonist.

Hey, it's Al Leong! The kids will get that cameo alright.

The fun in watching Last Action Hero comes in the form of recognizing the cliches that Danny spots. He points out that characters can't say the "f" word in a PG-13 movie, that sequels always get harder for the hero, that scenes change easily because of movie set placement, and that Arnold always says, "I'll be back," in his movies, as it is sort of his calling card. It may be silly and extremely dated for a character to point out these things as they experience them, but it is part of the fun of watching the film, especially one that was made in the early 90s.

For a comedy, Last Action Hero sports two extremely vicious and menacing performances by Charles Dance (Alien 3) and Tom Noonan (Manhunter) as the film's dual villains. Dance plays a ruthless gangster who can change out one of his glass eyeballs because...why not, it looks cool. Dance exudes extreme malice during his real world scenes, especially when he murders innocent people off screen. Noonan plays an extremely creepy villain entitled the Ripper, a raincoat wearing slasher with an axe to boot. Noonan's character is dressed up in so much makeup that he might as well be a zombie or a monster. He looks absolutely ridiculous and extremely terrifying at the same time. Noonan, well known for his creepy characters, dives into the character and sends chills down the viewer's spine. It seems that McTiernan probably forgot to tell Dance and Noonan that they were in a children's comedy. Regardless, their performances result in arguably the film's most memorable characters and moments.

Although rated PG-13, Last Action Hero is still a fairly violent action film with lots of creative kills and even a little sneaky foul language courtesy of a fast talking Lieutenant. Therefore, action fans won't feel cheated by the film's tamer rating. After all, a PG-13 rated film from 1993 is far more violent than a PG-13 rated film today. 

This guy will give you nightmares.

Most of the film's kills are either bloodless, particularly jokey, or creative. For example, in order to take out a room of henchmen in one scene, Arnold stabs a dead guy with an electrical wire to make him fire his gun into other guys. Although bad ass, the kill is jokey and lighthearted. Many of the film's on screen kills, like that one, are comically exaggerated in order to lessen their violent impact. Whenever people get shot, it typically occurs off screen or causes them to fly back several feet, thereby diminishing their impact. However, a majority of the film's death are due to explosions, as explosions are never violent and always deemed suitable for PG and PG-13 affair. Notable character actor Al Leong dies during the film's first big action scene when an ice cream truck explodes and sends a cone into the back of his head, thereby killing him. Even though Leong died, his death was comically exaggerated so as to lessen its killing blow. If the viewer can handle such mild violence, than Last Action Hero is a blast of a film to watch. Just set your action sights low, turn off your brain, and have a good time.

Despite its mild violence, Last Action Hero still contains several fun and exciting action sequences. The film peaks in its first set piece when Danny transports into "Jack Slater IV" and finds himself inside of Slater's car during a shootout. This fun action scene contains some impressive vehicular stunt work, memorable one liners, and AC/DC's "Big Gun." The set piece ends on a flat out hilarious moment in which a henchmen's car flies through the air in the background of a shot and explodes upon hitting the ground. It's bad ass and funny at the same time.

The film also sports a comical but impressive set piece at a gangster's funeral in which Slater and Danny must stop a dead gangster from seeping toxic gas into the air. McTiernan pulls out all of the stops here, especially during an impressive shot in which a stuntman swings off of an elevator on the side of a building. The climactic finale at the "Jack Slater IV" premiere is unfortunately devoid of tension or excitement despite is long run time and mass amount of celebrity cameos. 

Before I leave this film to the archives of my blog's site, I thought that I would point out some rather ridiculous plot holes that stick out like a sore thumb. For starters, the entire film's conceit doesn't make much sense. Nick tells Danny that Houdini gave him a ticket long ago that can transport you anywhere you wish. When Danny watches "Jack Slater IV," he sees an animated stick of dynamite fly into the theater. When he runs away from the exploding dynamite, he wakes up inside of the movie. What gives, how does a stick of dynamite transport into the real world? When they come back to the theater at the end of the movie, the dynamite did no damage. Another ridiculous moment includes the appearance of The Seventh Seal's Death, played by Ian McKellen. After Death shows up to "help" Danny for no good reason, he simply walks away, free to roam the streets. Guys, Death is on the loose! How can you leave such a plot thread hanging!? And while we're at it, how about that home invader who breaks into Danny's home, threatens him, and than leaves him alone. What was the point of that scene? It's absolutely terrifying and horribly realistic, and yet it found a way into a children's comedy? I don't know what went on in the editing room of this film.

Slater and his trusty Deagle.

Although Last Action Hero is deemed a flop by box office and critical standards, it's still an entertaining time at the movies. The film is an immensely nostalgic picture that 90s kids will probably have a blast revisiting or watching for the first time like myself. It's just a shame that the filmmakers couldn't decided upon an identity for the film upon its inception. Fortunately, this type of meta-genre picture would be perfected by Wes Craven a few years later in 1996's Scream, a fun and tense horror film that still found a way to comment on its genre and not appear overtly showy. Regardless, Last Action Hero is a commendable yet failed effort at meta-analysis, courtesy of the early 90s.

Rating: 6/10 - An immensely flawed, although highly entertaining, 90s action blockbuster that is purely for action fans like myself, or those with a taste for flawed but whimsical children's films.

Predator-a-Thon, Part 1 - Predator (1987)

Director: John McTiernan

Cast: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Carl Weathers, Elpidia Carillo, Bill Duke, Jesse Ventura, Richard Chaves, Kevin Peter Hall

Country: United States

Production Company: Silver Pictures

Rating: R

Run Time: 107 minutes

John McTiernan's Predator has always been a personal favorite of mine. Unlike many other violent 80's action films, Predator is one of the few that I have been watching since I was a little kid. This film and the very similar Aliens were two big staples of my childhood viewing. Surprisingly, these were the only R rated movies my dad allowed me to watch as a kid. I didn't get to see The Terminator or Die Hard until I was much older. Even though I have come to love Arnold Schwarzenegger for his many excellent action films, Predator is the film that introduced me to him at a young age. 

After revisiting Predator for the first time in several years, I can whole heartedly confirm that Predator is both one of the best action films of all time and one of Arnold's finest films. If Arnold wasn't in the two James Cameron Terminator films, than this would be his crowning achievement. Predator is an excellent pseudo sci-fi/action/horror that delivers so much. You get an excellent performance by Arnold Schwarzenegger, awesome shoot 'em up action scenes, a tense and terrifying survival horror plot, and an antagonizing alien creature. Science fiction fans and 80's action movie fans couldn't ask for more! Warning: spoilers ahead!

Arnold and The Predator face off.

Dutch (Arnold Schwarzenegger) and his team of elite specialists land in Central America for a search and rescue operation. Their mission is to find and rescue a kidnapped presidential cabinet minister. Upon landing, Dutch is met by his old friend Dylan (Carl Weathers), who is now working for the CIA. Dutch, Dylan, and his men locate the guerrilla forces outpost within the jungles of Central America and engage in an epic gunfight. After wiping out every single man (minus a captive woman) in the compound, Dutch realizes that he and his men were set up by Dylan. There was no captive cabinet minister. This whole operation was set up to rescue back two of Dylan's fellow CIA operatives and to take out numerous enemy guerrilla forces in the process.

As the men start to make their way back to their helicopter extraction, something in the trees begins to follow them with infrared eye sight. When the female captive escapes Dutch and his men, something in the jungle kills one of the men. The men suspect that the killer is another rogue guerrilla  in the jungle. However, they quickly realize that their enemy is not of this world as they are slowly picked off one by one. Dutch eventually becomes the "final man" as he and the creature go head to head in a final face off where Dutch pits his survival instincts against the creature's sci-fi weaponry and advanced cloaking system.

Predator is a tense thrill ride packed with awesome action scenes and one of the most memorable creatures in cinematic history. I cannot stress enough how tense and engaging this film is. John McTiernan found a way to make invincible muscular action heroes vulnerable as they go up against the one thing they can't defeat: an other worldly creature. Just like McTiernan's other action masterpiece, Die Hard, Predator is a subversion of action genre staples.

The film opens with an epic shootout where Arnold Schwarzenegger and several other bad asses of the 80's lay waste to dozens of soldiers. This opening raid on the guerrilla forces' compound is the kind of gun fight you would expect an action film to conclude with. And yet, here it is at the beginning of the movie. It kicks so much ass and gives you exactly what you expect from an 80's action film. But than Predator twists the action genre on its head by becoming a full fledged survival horror. These muscular bad asses are no longer the invincible killing machines that we think they are. Instead, we watch these hulking men get slashed to death by an invisible alien with far more brawn, weaponry, and skills than any of them have. If that isn't a subversion of the genre than I don't know what is.

If these guys can't take down a Predator, than what can?

I know that everyone knows Predator as an action film. But I think it's due time that some one reads this film as a "slasher" film. Released in the 80's, the heyday of the slasher genre if I am correct, Predator pulls quite a bit from the slasher genre formula. The final two thirds of the film are essentially a group of people taking on a masked killer in an isolated location. The slasher, the Predator, takes out each of his victims one by one and as quietly as possible. He even wears a mask like Michael Myers, Jason Vorheeves, and Leatherface (up until the very end).

Since there are no teenagers having sex, I am going to hypothesize that slaughtering dozens of bad guys in an action scene is what makes you vulnerable to being killed by the Predator. The film even ends with Arnold as the "final man" (my substitution for the well known "final girl" phrase). Arnold and the slasher than engage in a one on one fight that turns into a chase scene similar to what one would find at the end of Halloween or Friday the 13th. But unlike the slasher genre, the "final man" wins and defeats the slasher once and for all. The Predator doesn't get back up and return for a sequel. No, the Predator loses fair and square (until he whips out his self destruct device and proves that he is a sore loser). However, the fact that there are numerous sequels to this film proves that the Predator species could not be held down.

John McTiernan brings all of his action craftsmanship from Die Hard and Die Hard With a Vengeance to this manly as heck action film. The opening shootout alone is one of the great 80's shoot 'em ups. Arnold single handedly guns down over 40 guerrilla soldiers in this scene! After this shootout, the rest of the film is essentially Dutch and his men shooting back and forth with the Predator. Even though most people remember the opening shootout as the best action scene of the film, my money goes to the great scene where Dutch and his men mow down the jungle with their guns for a good minute. Literally, Dutch and his men stand side by side and fire away into the jungle as they try to hit the Predator upon first seeing it. This whole action scene is made better by Bill Duke's loud screaming and mini-gun blazing. 

Long before AvP, there was a time when the Predator looked this awesome.

The final face off between Arnold and the Predator is also great entertainment. After Arnold realizes that the mud on his skin can cloud the Predator's heat vision, he turns into a survivalist and sets up numerous traps alongside a lake. He than slathers more mud on his skin and screams for the Predator to come after him. It's one of the best cat and mouse face offs I have ever seen. Action movies don't get better than this.

I think that Predator contains the largest assortment of great one liners in action movie history. Look at the assortment of badassery spouted by these men.

"If it bleeds we can kill it."

"You are one ugly mother f*****."

"I ain't got time to bleed man."

"Knock knock, *bang!*"

"You're all a bunch of slack jawed faggots. This stuff will make you a god-damn sexual tyranosaurus, just like me!"

"Stick around!"

"You're ghosting us mother f*****. If you give away our position again, I'll bleed you. Real quiet."

"Get to the choppa!"

"What the hell are you?"

"They're dug up in there like an Alabama tick."

"Come on, do it! Kill me now! Come on!"

If those one liners weren't enough to certify Predator as action royalty, just look at the dream team of filmmakers behind this project. With John McTiernan (Die Hard) directing, Joel Silver (The Last Boy Scout) producing, Alan Silvestri (The Avengers) scoring, and Stan Winston (The Terminator) doing creature designs, Predator was guaranteed to be an action masterpiece. And just look at the cast! You get Arnold Schwarzenegger (Conan the Barbarian), Carl Weathers (Action Jackson), Bill Duke (Commando), Shane Black (screenwriter of Lethal Weapon), Sonny Landham (48 Hrs.), and Jesse Ventura (The Running Man). Predator oozes so much action royalty that it actually hurts a little bit.

Predator gives a whole new meaning to disarming an enemy of their weapon.

It would also be criminal of me not to mention Kevin Peter Hall, the man inside of the Predator suit. Hall's imposing stature coupled with Winston's masterful creature design makes the Predator one of the best science fiction creatures ever put to the big screen. Even though the Predator dies at the end of the film, Hall would return to play another lead Predator in Predator 2. It is also worth mentioning that none other than Jean Claude Van Damme (Hard Target, Universal Soldier) actually filled out the shoes of the alien for a while before Stan Winston and Kevin Peter Hall came onto the project to turn the Predator into a much more imposing and muscular creature. Sorry Van Damme.

I'm sure no one was aware at the time of making Predator that they would be kickstarting an entire franchise (an incredibly rocky one that is). What separates Predator apart from the rest of the Predator films is that the film takes its sweet time to introduce the Predator. McTiernan took a cue from Jaws by not revealing the creature until the absolute best moment. We get to see the creature's POV, his hands, and his camouflage for a very long time. The Predator doesn't fully reveal itself until about an hour into the movie.

Predator also establishes many staples of the franchise. The jungle setting has since become the most popular of all of the Predator settings (as seen in the return to the jungle in 2010's Predators). The film also introduces us to a few of the Predator's weapons. We get to see his cloaking device, his shoulder mounted laser gun, and his Wolverine styled wrist blades. I forgot how few weapons the Predator uses in this film. It won't be until Predator 2 when we get to see the Predator use his iconic net gun, retractable spear, and spinning razor blades. The film also establishes that the Predator will only kill people using weapons. This establishes that the Predator is only interested in the thrill of the hunt and will never kill unarmed innocents.

Predator is also bolstered by an incredible score by veteran composer Alan Silvestri. The score is incredibly dramatic and works as the perfect action movie score. Every tune in this film will embed itself into your mind and never leave you. Nearly every aspect of Predator will do this to you. It's that excellent.

"One ugly..."

That Predator was John McTiernan's very first big action film astounds me. He would shake the entire action movie community with the perfect one-two-punch of Predator in 1987 and Die Hard in 1988. And while Die Hard will always remain as McTiernan's magnum opus and most popular film, Predator is right up there in terms of pure filmmaking and craftsmanship. Predator is an excellent and masterful action/horror hybrid that packs shootouts, one liners, and a slashing alien creature all in one film. You really feel like you get two movies worth of entertainment out of this film (one being the mission to rescue the presidential cabinet minister and the other being the survival horror story involving the Predator).

Predator is truly one of the greats. The film is arguably Arnold Schwarzenegger's finest film (if not for the even better and far more iconic Terminator films). Like I said, the craftsmanship and filmmaking in this film is incredible. McTiernan wasn't just trying to make a good action film. He was trying to make an excellent film that any one of any genre preference could enjoy. And while Predator never received the box office dollars and critical acclaim of James Cameron's similar "men on a mission"-action-horror hybrid Aliens (1986), the film will always be beloved and held dear to all action cinema fans hearts.

Rating: 10/10 - They just don't make 'em like they used too. 'Nuff said.

Franchise:
Predator (dir. John McTiernan, 1987)
Predator 2 (dir. Stephen Hopkins, 1990)
Predators (dir. Nimrod Antal, 2010)

AvP Spin-Offs:
Alien vs. Predator (dir. Paul W. S. Anderson, 2004)
Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (dir. The Brothers Strause, 2007)

Die-Hard-a-Thon, Part 3 - Die Hard With a Vengeance (1995)

Director: John McTiernan

Cast: Bruce Willis, Jeremy Irons, Samuel L. Jackson, Graham Green, Colleen Camp, Sam Philips

Country: United States

Rating: R

Run Time: 131 minutes

Die Hard 2: Die Harder gave me quite the scare. How could the Die Hard franchise go downhill after just one film? After watching Die Hard With a Vengeance, all of my fears drifted away. Not only is this film an excellent sequel, but it is also one of the best action films I have ever watched. John McTiernan returns with a vengeance (see what I did there) and delivers an excellent and gritty action blockbuster that all contemporary sequels should strive to be like. Read on to see how much ass John McClane kicks in this bloody as heck actioner.

He may be divorced but he still wears that wedding ring.

It seems that John McTiernan is the savior and auteur of the Die Hard franchise. Both of his entries are absolutely excellent action films packed with R rated violence and lots of funny natural humor. They are both consistently entertaining and surprising in almost every scene. How much did I love With a Vengeance do you ask? Well, I ended up buying an original theatrical poster for the film on eBay. That's how much.

Die Hard With a Vengeance finds John McClane in a much darker place than where we left him back in 1990. When we last saw John, he was riding off into the snowy night with his lovely wife and kissing her passionately. From the look of things, Holly and John McClane looked like a happy couple. However, something happened in between Die Hard 2 and Die Hard With a Vengeance because Holly and John are no longer together. The film doesn't really give any reason why except that the two probably fought over something or whatever. Since John is clearly struggling with alcohol at the beginning of the film, I believe that his alcoholism must have drove her away.

The film starts with a literal bang as a bomb goes off in the streets of New York City. The police immediately receive a call from a man referring to himself as Simon (Jeremy Irons). Simon says that he plans on setting off another bomb unless John McClane will play a game with him. The force drags McClane out of police suspension and give him back his badge and gun. After completing his first task (McClane must wear a sign that says "I Hate N*****" in Harlem), McClane is saved from near death  by Zeus (Samuel L. Jackson). Since Zeus saved McClane during his first task, Simon demands that Zeus tag along with McClane for the rest of the day. It's an intense game of cat and mouse for the rest of the film as McClane and Zeus have to stop Simon from setting off more bombs in New York and ultimately catch the bastard.

The two have an "Unbreakable" friendship.

Die Hard With a Vengeance is an important entry because it takes the series in a whole new direction. Die Hard and Die Hard 2 are essentially the same film: John must stop some terrorists from taking over a limited location or else his wife will die. However, John is no longer with his wife in this film. In fact, she isn't even in the film. Instead, Die Hard With a Vengeance plops an alcoholic John right into his job and makes him race all over New York City in order to stop a terrorist. The plot of the film covers all of New York City instead of just a single building or an airport. This choice to broaden the events of the film to a massive scale seems to be the new franchise tradition. The next two sequels, Live Free or Die Hard and A Good Day to Die Hard, deal with terrorist plots that cover all of Washington, D.C. and Moscow. John McClane has come a long way since having to deal with just a simple building.

I love that we finally got to see John, a member of the N.Y.P.D., actually be a cop in New York City. The locations and settings seen throughout the film are absolutely incredible. The film provides an incredible sense of what it is like to simply be in New York City. It's kind of like John Mcclane is taking us on a nice tour of New York: he drives a taxi cab through central park, he climbs on top of a subway train, he drives a truck through a flooded water tunnel, he kills some terrorists inside of the Federal Reserve Bank of New York, and swings off of a bridge. The end of the car chase through Central Park blows my mind. John jumps a rock and lands right into busy New York traffic. The scene is made more impressive because there is no green screen or CGI. A stuntman is actually jumping a car out of Central Park and right into traffic!

John McTiernan's return to the franchise brings Die Hard back to its gritty and familiar roots. The first thing back is John's classic wife beater tank top. There's just something about John and that tank top that screams Die Hard. The second returning element is that the film is essentially a big adrenaline ride from start to finish with little to no down time at any point. The film has you in its grips from the moment it starts and never lets up. The film is also similar to Die Hard in that it has a serious plot devoid of forced humor. All the humor in the film is completely natural and develops from the situations and characters. The film also partners John back up with a black man that he becomes good friends with over the course of the film.

"Be pre-pareeeeeeeeeeeed!"

Bruce Willis and Samuel L. Jackson have incredible chemistry in this film. The two of them curse their way through this entire film and made me laugh the whole way through. These two guys were born to cuss! I really loved watching John get partnered up with a smart guy like Zeus. Whenever the two have to solve a riddle that Simon presents to them, only Zeus knows how to handle them. Without Zeus, John would not have likely made it through the day.

Another thing I loved about Die Hard With a Vengeance was the film's fantastic sense of community and teamwork. Everybody on the good guy side all work together. It's so nice to see people on John McClane's side for once after seeing the L.A.P.D., the FBI, and airport security be against him in Die Hard and Die Hard 2. Literally everybody helps out John throughout the film: police men, the bomb squad, and even truck drivers. It felt nice to see every citizen of New York City band together in order to stop a terrorist's plot.

And how about that terrorist? I think that Simon is a pretty solid villain. Jeremy Irons is a welcome addition to the franchise. It seems that Oscar caliber actors make for the best Die Hard villains. It's a bit of a spoiler, but I loved that Simon ended up being Hans Gruber's brother. The film really twisted this on its head when Simon reveals that he didn't even care for his brother at all. Simon had no intentions of simply targeting John. He used John as a scapegoat to distract everyone from his real goal: to steal a bunch of gold! All Simon cared about was just a nice score of cash and gold. Just like his brother. I also couldn't stop thinking about The Lion King (1994) and Scar whenever I heard Irons' voice over the many radio conversations in the film.

Holy crap!

Die Hard With a Vengeance has some incredible stunt work and action scenes to boot. I love all of the action in Die Hard 2, I really do. But the action scenes in this installment are so dang bloody and so freakin' exciting, Die Hard and Die Hard 2 just can't stack up to them.

One of the action scenes in the film is easily my favorite scene of the entire franchise. After some of Simon's men take over the Federal Reserve, John walks in covered in blood and asks if he could use the elevator. Four disguised terrorists happily oblige John and walk onto the elevator with him. As the elevator starts to go down, John looks over and sees that one of the terrorists has the badge number of one of his fellow cops. His co-worker would always play his badge number for the lotto and one of the terrorists killed the co-worker early on in the film and took his badge.

Instead of flipping out, John stares ahead at the elevator door and goes, "Did anyone play the lottery?" John goes off on a tangent about how his wife always gets him lottery tickets when he doesn't need them and it makes for a really funny scene. He concludes by saying, "You got your ticket? Here I got mine right here," and than puts his hand inside of his jacket. He fires his gun through his jacket into two of the terrorists and than shoves his gun into the neck of another terrorist. The fourth terrorist shoots at John but misses him and blasts the third terrorist. John flips the fourth terrorist over and shoots him in the head point blank. The film than cuts to a close up of John's face as blood splatters all over him! 

This is THE best scene in the whole series because it shows how hilarious and awesome John McClane is all in one scene. The scene is also wonderfully shot, edited, and set up so that the pay off is much more memorable. Bruce Willis is simply at his most lovable in this film and I couldn't get enough of him.

"English mother! Do you speak it?!"

There is also a great car chase where John is shot at by some of Simon's henchmen on a highway. John asks Zeus to rip out the car's brake wires underneath the steering wheel. John than pulls the emergency brake and whips the car around 180 degrees. As his car slides past the enemy car, Bruce fires his trusty hand gun and blasts the henchies to death. I love it!

Believe it or not, there is a reason why I cannot award this film a perfect 10 out of 10 rating. Die Hard lands a 10 out of 10 rating because it ends everything with a perfectly satisfying conclusion. Die Hard With a Vengeance's finale left me feeling quite disappointed. I don't want to spoil things, but the film seemed to end the main plot even though there was 15 minutes left to go. I know an alternate ending was filmed and I think that ending is also flawed. It seems like the filmmakers just couldn't figure out a good ending because both endings don't work for me. It makes one wonder, does the villain have to be defeated and killed at the end of every movie or can he escape every once in awhile?

It also seems to be the franchise tradition from Die Hard 2 - 4 to say, "Yippie Ki Yae Mother F*****" right before or after John kills the main villain. Just noticed it and thought it was worth mentioning. I also noticed John almost always has a partner in all of the films (except for Die Hard 2). For my money, Zeus is the funniest and most memorable of all of John McClane's partners and I would take him over Justin Long any day.

Guy just can't catch a break.

Watching Die Hard With a Vengeance was a bittersweet experience. I had never experienced this film before and had a real blast watching it. However, this is where the Die Hard franchise splits in two. The first three films represent Bruce Willis and R rated action at the top of their game. They are highly recommended (even Die Hard 2) to all action fans. The fourth and fifth installments however represent today's mediocre filmmaking with their weak characters, shaky camera work, lousy CGI, and forgettable attempts at humor. It pains me to know that I have to trudge through two more Die Hard films that will never be as good as the original three. Oh well.

To keep it short, Die Hard With a Vengeance kicks butt and blows your mind at the same time. It's an incredible thrill ride that had me laughing and gasping the whole way through. John McTiernan's return to the franchise helped out in a major way and I hope he returns again another day. I highly recommend this film to all action fans and consider it to be one of the best action films ever made. Tune in next time for the...PG-13 Live Free or Die Hard...PG-13? Is that a joke?

Rating: 9/10 - Watch it! A superb 90's blockbuster packed with blood, car chases, and explosions. Great character work all around as well.

Franchise: Die Hard 

Die Hard (dir. John McTiernan, 1988)

Die Hard 2: Die Harder (dir. Renny Harlin, 1990)

Die Hard With a Vengeance (dir. John McTiernan, 1995)

Live Free or Die Hard (dir. Len Wiseman, 2007)

A Good Day to Die Hard (dir. John Moore, 2013)

Die-Hard-a-Thon, Part 1 - Die Hard (1988)

Director:  John McTiernan

Cast:  Bruce Willis, Alan Rickman, Alexander Gordunov, Bonnie Bedelia, Reginald VelJohnson

Country: United States

Rating: R

Run Time: 132 minutes

There's nothing more fun to me than watching an entire action franchise from beginning to end and celebrating, reviewing, and picking apart the series as a whole. Well, gear up ladies and gentlemen because it's time to embark on a new action marathon. We are about to embark on a Die-Hard-a-Thon!

For those who are curious, I had not seen every single Die Hard film before embarking on this fun excursion. I had seen Die Hard twice (now three times) and Live Free or Die Hard (2007) once in the theaters back in 2007 with my dad. I have never seen Die Hard 2: Die Harder (1990), Die Hard With a Vengeance (1995), or even the newest installment, A Good Day to Die Hard (2013). Therefore, this is going to be quite a fun journey into the series that defines Bruce Willis' action stardom. I've got all five of the Blu Rays sitting on my shelf and I'm ready to dive into them all. Yippie-ki-yae!

"How many sequels are we talking?"

Die Hard (1988) is widely considered to be one of the greatest if not the greatest American action film of all time. While cynical people may be quick to dismiss such a claim, there is honestly not a thing wrong with this film. Die Hard is an adrenaline packed thrill ride from beginning to end and it never once stops being great. It was a huge landmark action film that changed the game back in 1988 and has been rip offed over and over again since its initial release (Under Siege, Under Siege 2: Dark Territory, Sudden Death, Olympus Has Fallen, Command Performance, High Rise, etc). If a film showcases a single hero fight off terrorists/villains in a limited location, than you are probably watching a Die Hard rip-off.

Our hero in the film is John McClane (Bruce Willis). McClane, a New York cop, is visiting his wife (Bonnie Bedelia) at her office party in Los Angeles in order to reconcile their relationship. McClane's timing could not be worse though because a small group of terrorists led by Hans Gruber (Alan Rickman) take over the building as soon as he arrives. McClane quickly escapes the party with his trusty handgun but without shoes. It's up to McClane to get the outside world's attention and help as he takes out each terrorist one by one.

Al "Hey That Guy!" Leong

Director John McTiernan adapted Die Hard from a Roderick Thorp novel entitled Nothing Lasts Forever. The novel is notable for being very bleak and serious in contrast to the humor and fun found in its big screen adaptation. When McTiernan adapted the novel into Die Hard, he wanted to inject a lot of "joy" into the picture. In doing so, McTiernan crafted an exciting action picture with one of the most likable lead protagonists in bad ass cinema history. After doing some research on the film, I discovered that the lead role was initially offered to Frank Sinatra! Therefore, there were no initial plans to make a fun action film starring Bruce Willis. 

That's the important thing to point out about this film. Bruce Willis was not an action star at the time of this film's release. Willis was well known for his comedic roles in the television series Moonlighting and the Blake Edwards films Blind Date (1987) and Sunset (1988). Therefore, Die Hard made a charming and comedic actor into a lovable action star with comedic chops to boot. Audiences nowadays are used to Willis as an action star. He has starred in countless action pictures (Die Hard series, The Last Boy Scout, Last Man Standing, Looper, Sin City, 16 Blocks, etc) and ranks as one of the most notable and excellent action stars in bad ass cinema history. 

I really enjoyed looking at this film from the perspective that this was Bruce Willis' first true action film. He gives a fantastic performance as a wisecracking and lovable bad ass cop. John McClane is the ultimate underdog and the every man all rolled up into one. He experiences marital issues, has a problem with authority, and can't seem to catch a break. Therefore, we as the audience really pull for John as he fights his way through the building. The first twenty minutes of the film establish everything that we need to know about John and than hurls him into a hornet's nest. I can't praise the film enough for making John McClane one of the most human and relatable action heroes of all time.

"Mr. Potter."

Major props also have to go to the one and only Alan Rickman for delivering one of the best villainous performances of all time. Hans Gruber is an unforgettably evil bastard with a great plan and a calm attitude. Even when things are out of his control, Hans still manages to keep his cool. I love how the film plays off of the fact that Hans doesn't know who or what John is at first. The two communicate over radio throughout the film and with the police on the outside. Therefore, Die Hard conveys a lot of information between numerous characters who cannot ever see one another's faces. This plays wonderfully into a great scene that I shall not spoil where one character runs into another character and pretends to be someone that they are not. It's filmmaking at its finest.

The supporting cast is completely aces all across the board. Bonnie Bedelia is adorable and strong as McClane's wife. I love how John kisses her on the cheek when he first meets up with her at her office. The two than walk into another room and slowly but surely dive into an argument about their marital issues. It's an honest portrayal of a troublesome relationship. You like each other so much but know that the issues and the tension will break out eventually.

Reginald VelJohnson is great as Sergeant Al Powell, the police officer who communicates with John over radio throughout the course of the film. The two build a great and believable friendship that adds another level of greatness to the film. Powell even gets a very satisfying mini character arc that wraps up in the film's final moments. VelJohnson basically plays Officer Carl Winslow, the same character that he would go on to play in Family Matters. I used to always think that he was put in this film after being seen in Family Matters. It turns out that Die Hard actually came before the show. Go figure.

Ebony and Ivory.

I love all of the little characters in the film too. I love the limo driver Argyle. He is such a lovable and cool dude. Karl, one of the blonde German terrorists, is also memorable. He wants revenge on McClane for killing his brother early in the film. I love how he and McClane fight one another numerous times. I have always had the opinion that many great action films should feature their villainous "right hand man" more than the actual lead villain in order to draw the audience into the ongoing conflict between the "right hand man" and the protagonist (The Last Boy Scout, SPL, The Road Warrior, Hard Boiled, Commando, The Man From Nowhere, etc). However, Karl never out stages Hans. He never takes the center stage as the film's most memorable baddie, but he remains forever memorable. Memorable character actors William Atherton, Al Leong, Robert Davi, and Paul Gleason all pop up as minor antagonists within the film. Atherton is a real slime ball in this movie. You just love to hate the guy ("That's right sir. This man has no dick." - Bill Murray).

Much like the Die Hard rip-off Under Siege that I previously reviewed, Die Hard does not feature any lengthy shootouts or action sequences. The film is peppered with memorable moments of gun fire, violence, and explosions. While I normally prefer for a film to feature an all out action scene, every small action scene in Die Hard is completely memorable. My favorite scene of action in the film is when John fights some henchmen inside of what looks like a computer lab. He lays on his stomach and fires his MP5 into a terrorist's legs and sends the guy flying through the air face first into a glass window! Awesome. I also love the part when John yells at a terrorist to freeze and than another terrorist runs up behind the guy and John blasts the guy right in the chest. So badass.

Die Hard is an excellent film because it isn't focused entirely on the action. Instead, the film is focused on delivering an exciting and suspenseful thrill ride peppered with believable human characters. I believe this is why the film is enjoyed by so many non-action fans and critics world wide. It puts all of the focus on the characters and crafts an incredible thrill ride by doing so. I could recommend this movie to my mom and my grandma and I am sure that they would enjoy it even though they would not be caught dead watching and enjoying something like Rambo III or Death Wish 4: The Crackdown.

"Thanks for the advice!"

It's impossible to not mention the champion dialog peppered throughout the film. I think it is safe to say that Die Hard features some of the best one liners in action history. Read some of these babies: "Welcome to the party, pal," "No f***** s*** lady, what do you think I am ordering a pizza," and the unforgettable classic, "Yippie-ki-yae-mother-f*****!" For a film that mentions both Rambo and Arnold Schwarzenegger within its universe, these are some great zingers.

The last thing that I want to mention is the importance of director John McTiernan. As I stated before, McTiernan really wanted to make the film joyful and fun to watch. McTiernan seems to be a forgotten action icon to me. His filmography contains some of the best action films ever made (Predator, Die Hard, The Last Action Hero, Die Hard With a Vengeance, The Hunt for Red October, and The 13th Warrior). McTiernan recently got out of prison and is making an attempt at getting back into movies. He is currently developing a SWAT team film that may or may not star Nicholas Cage. I hope for action fans' sakes that McTiernan returns to the genre soon so that he can make more excellent action flicks for us to enjoy.

More of a Roy Rogers kind of guy than a cowboy.

I did not grow up on Die Hard or its respective sequels. Therefore, I have no childhood nostalgia or bias attached to the film. As a twenty two year old watching the film twenty six years after its release, I cannot find a single thing wrong with the film. There is not a thing wrong with this dang movie! Everything fits perfectly into place. I've written quite enough about this movie and I think it's safe to say that Die Hard will move into the top ten of my top one hundred action films of all time next year. Tune in next time for the Renny Harlin directed and airplane centric...Die Hard 2...Die Harder?

Rating: 10/10 - Die Hard is the formula for the perfect American action film. It's character driven, realistic, and exciting. Highly recommended to all action fans!

Franchise:

Die Hard (dir. John McTiernan, 1988)

Die Hard 2: Die Harder (dir. Renny Harlin, 1990)

Die Hard With a Vengeance (dir. John McTiernan, 1995)

Live Free or Die Hard (dir. Len Wiseman, 2007)

A Good Day to Die Hard (dir. John Moore, 2013)